Shadowkit's Cliche Title (source)


Hi every1 dis is my fanfic i hope u enjoy no criticism allowed EVR!1111ONE! Heres story enjoy it or els my waifu scourge will kill u

Prologue: Day of the Birthing

It was a bright new day. Nothing bad would happen at all! Prettymarigoldflower screamed. Her kits were coming! The medicine cat ran in.

"Joke about sticks." meowed Jayfeather.

Suddenly, Prettymarigoldflower DIED because Jayfeather was too busy cracking jokes instead of actually doing anything! And her kits spontaneously appeared because mom doesn't like me writing about birthing kitties!

Bramblestar cried. His mate had died! All of Prettymarigoldflower's other mates cried as well!

Suddenly, as they walked in to name the kits, THUNDERSTAR, RIVERSTAR, WINDSTAR, AND SHADOWSTAR APPEARED!

"Wait, aren't you guys dead?" meowed Bramblestar.

"Jayfeather is one of the three, and he's using his powers to bring us here!"

"But that's not a power he has-"

"But he'll die from power overexertion, and we'll be launched back to StarClan! So, listen. The evil one will be Shadowkit because ShadowClan is evil, the black one with a floating head with constant blood pouring out of it will be Scenekit because blood is almost water, the boring one will be named Averagekit, because Windstar is boring, and the final one, the pure white kit with magical pink sparkles and kawaii hair, and pink tips of her fur, and a tail that leads into another dimension, and color-changing eyes that are also crystals, shall be named Maincharacterkit! THUNDERCLAN RULES!"

Just as they were about to cheer, suddenly Tigerstar, Brokenstar, and every other evil thing appeared, and drained all of Maincharacterkit's kawaii-ness! It was now a floating orb of pure good!

"Hahahahahahahaha! Now you will never be able to finish the fanfiction, because the main character is pure evil! Ahahahahah-" Suddenly, Tigerstar began to have a coughing fit. The other cats watched. "Ugh, being evil in a comedy is awful! You can't do an evil laugh without coughing!"

Jayfeather suddenly retorted with "Maybe it's because you're 8,000 moons old."

All of the cats began to laugh.

"No, I am not! I'm- Wait, have you completely forgotten that the strongest cat in the clan died giving birth to her kits, and that we literally stole all of the sugoi-ness from the best kit ever?"

Jayfeather stopped chuckling. "Oh yeah, that."

They stood there silently, crickets chirping in the background.

"Maincharacterkawaii, go get that desu back!" And with that, Jayfeather flung his first-born at the huge ball of light.

...And then Shadowkit grabbed it, despite being a newborn kit with no sense of direction.

"Shadowkit, you absolute moron! Now we're gonna die because you're supposed to be the villain!"

The Dark Forest cats stared in confusion. "Huh. Well. We're just gonna go now. Have fun dealing with that." said Tigerstar. All of the Dark Forest cats floated away into the sky.

The only queen that could nurse them, Lizardstripe 2.0, took the kits, hesitantly.

"You will make sure that no Brokenstars happen again, right?"

"Yes, now get out of my face."