here s a great story for u. its is call Tangyorange's SpicyMess. Enjoy.
in a shadowy spice rack, stood hundreds of translucent cats. they were sitting in a circle around a dark orb, staring into it intently.
one of them, a brown tabby with amber eyes, spoke. "the time has come to release spiciness onto the world of the living!1!"
another one, a black tom with a white paw and blue eyes said "yes!11! we will control the clans and get revenge for the misfortunes they had caused us all those years ago11!1!111! also sorry for murdering you tigerstar"
the third one, who was another brown tabby said "nothing can possibly stop our plan!1!"
the ball of darkness fell off the spice rack, knocking the another cat, a brown tabby tom with a white stomach and blue eyes off.
"well. there goes hawkfrost" said the black cat.
tigerstar giggled. "haha slapstick is great. but who cares if he's dead honestly hawkfrost sucked and became a weeaboo."
the black cat gasped. "what!?1!? you are against anime!?1?1!? you know what?/ i take it back11!1 im NOT sorry for killing you, i WONT work with you on this plan, AND IM GONNA KILL YOU AGAIN1!11"
all of the cats gasped!11!
"wait we can make this work"
but it was too late. tigerstar plummeted downwards with hawk frost.
scourge watched the cat fall down into the world of the living.
"DAMN YOU SCOURGEEEEEEE!"
SPICY anyway comment and like
wow it sure has been Spicy has it not been? what would you do. without tangy kit. any warble here are alegienceys and a few other related words.
Drugs of choice: every drug, every day.
Favorite letter: q.
Number of Life: 29, keep it in mind.
Ledere: moiststar - sensational grey tabby tom with amber eyes
Deputty: play dough - cat made of mint chocolate chip colored play dough (an actual thing by the way) who has red silly putty for eyes
Medicinal Cat: peppersteak - breathes through skin. pure white with black void like eyes
Warbliers: soupspin - walking pile of soup with tomato eyes
sbubbyfreef - SbubbyTM: Eef Freef.
starvation starve - ginger tabby with a white muzzle and blue eyes. only thinks of starvation
saucestrom - cat made of tomato saucy. has no eyes
yaoikit - white she kit with animu posters glued to her flesh and amber eyes
productplacement - black tom with advertisements patterned on fur and yellow eyes
fresh oats - literally just a pile of oats
scoobydoo - a great dane with in insatiable appetite for scooby snacks
Aprointiceies: googlypaw - white sketch of a tom with googlyeyes glued on
printpaw - a cutout of a drawing of a blue she-cat with amber eyes made in comic-con or something
goopypaw - turquoise tabby tom who has a really long neck and head which are made of ooze. his paws are as well
toongag - peach cat toon with a white t-shirt and skirt
kits, wildkit, lemonadekit, slappykit
washcloth - a white washcloth with a dora the explorer pattern
Kites: tangykit - orange (the fruit) patterned she-kit with bright blue eyes that darken when she's sad, become red when she's mad, and flash all different colors when using her powers. she scents of oranges, and feels like an orange when you touch her. if you share tongues with her, she tastes like an orange. some speculate that the father of tangy kit is actually fruitfur from bobyclan, and she's actually ONLY HALF SISTERS WITH HER OTHER SIBLINGS!111! she has a bow on her chest made of unrippable ribbons, and they are red when normal but when she uses her powers, it turns into a fabulous rainbow! she has a heart shaped gem in her chest, just below the ribbon! it is an iridescent purple, reflecting billions of color into the sky whenever she uses her ultimate powers! however, she has yet to see what those powers are!1 also she's very SPICY.
rootkit - tree roots in the shape of a tom kit
barkkit - tree bark in the shape of a tom kit
leafkit - tree leaves in the shape of a she-kit
wild kit - tiger cub she-kit with white eyes, her pupils are black rings
lemonade kit - lemon patterned she-kit with blue eyes. like tangy kit, she smells feels and tastes like a fruit, but lemonade kit's fruit is a lemon. some say she's half sisters with tangy kit.
slappykit - white tom with green eyes named in honor of slappy
shamkit - super absorbent orange cloth she-kit with pale blue eyes
Eldres: villainevil - black cat with red eyes. retired villain. quote: "i simply ACHE to kill more, feeling their blood dripping through my claws, their life-force DRAINING AWAY! speaking of which, peppersteak, could you fix my back? It's aching real bad."
burblestar - the infinitely living burblestar. ancient gray tom with hazel eyes, surrounded by a pink bubble that keeps him alive. he is such a grand cat, but fear has arose that if he ever died, there would be a great famine.
Clan phrase - "このバカ！！！"
Favorite anime - "良い質問！"
Special powers - "我々は、すべてのスーパーサイヤ人をすることができ、我々は、すべての日本の武器を使用します！！！！"
Ledere: selfinsertstar - half twoleg half cat called a neko. i have bright pink hair, my ears and tail are bright neon green blue yellow and pink, and i has a rainbow dress. also, i can see everywhere, so don't try to peek up my dress, u PERV!1! XD
Deputy: sailormoonheart - sailor moon fangirl, she has white fur and a sailor moon outfit, specifically for cats. nobody likes sailor moon more than her1!11111 (except selfinsertstar, but nobody is more japanese than her1! XD)
Clan Translator (Only this clan has a clan translator, because every cat in this clan speaks in japanese. The bloodline always has a mate, and the kits are all called clan translator. Sometimes there are multiple translators due to there being multiple kits, but at the time, there's just one.): clantranslator - very japanese ninja she-cat with dark blue eyes like the stretching midnight, her hazel fur covered by the shadowy fabric, stealthily hiding her every move1!1!1 under the ninja outfit, she's just a brown tabby she-cat. she has no mate or kits yet.
Medicinal Cat: clichestorm - kawaii ginger tabby with namekian antennae. can preform any anime cliche, including too many transformations, making anime expressions, and more. she is the guardian of earth, and is half namekian half cat. however, she can get infinite wishes from dragon balls, but only if she finds true love!1! however, she can't because she's a medicine cat (or can she? find out in the story, you baka1!1!1!1! XD)!1!11!11!ONE1!11!1!NUMERAL!1!
Warbliers: kitsunechan - tiny white anime fox with nine tails and kawaii blue eyes!11!1 XD
mangapurist - grungy blood-red tom with yellow eyes and bat wings. thinks the manga version is always superior
actuallybulma - literally just bulma from dragon ball. the original one. not even a cat.
hentaiauthor - greasy white tabby tom with amber eyes who sits in the elders den writing hentai fanfics. he's not an elder though, as he does fight. using a magic pencil. all cats wish not to be touched by it due to the thoughts of what "substances" could be on it
apprentice, ABSOLUTELY NOT. he is BANNED from having an apprenticini.
lemonleg - sibling of hentaiauthor, separated at birth and sent to a different clan, then reunited with his sibling. he's piss-yellow with puke green eyes and is generally nasty
apprentice, he's also banned
buffoongargle - the most hated cat in the clan. she is chained to the center of the camp with magic energy and everybody, including her, wants her to leave but it just. can't happen. black she-cat who just sits and has her head up in the air, gargling up blood. apprentices have to clean up this blood. she's also not japanese
doritoface - he's literally made of doritos and has salsa eyes. the mate of the amazing leader!111111!11111!THE ABSOLUTE VALUE OF -1!11!1111
yurikit - black tom with blue eyes who has inverted animus glued to his flesh
Aprointiceies: kawaiipaw - rainbow she-kit with a gun for a head
japanesepaw - pink she-cat with kawaii anime sushis printed on her fur and shimmering blue eyes
kyubeypaw - white cat with flesh ribbons from his ears, red eyes, and an unchanging face. can turn other cats into magical girls
sugoipaw - white she-cat with pink tips on her fur and rainbow eyes
gokupaw - small black tom who is very powerful and can use ki. he fights really well, making any patrol he's on not one you wanna mess with
Queebs: yumepelt - kawaii black she-cat with pure golden eyes who reflects other cats dreams in her fur at night, other cats find it annoying
watashiwa - completely normal gray mottled tabby she-cat, she uses random japanese words to seem cool. she has green eyes and a scar on her face
kits, perfectionkit (adopted)
clantranslator - dark blue she-cat with red eyes and giant scene kid hair
Kites: sakurakit - grey she-kit with long pink hair on her head. has a pink schoolgirl uniform and rainbow eyes. she is thought to be the kit of doritoface and their PERFECT LEADER, selfinsertstar11!111! (thats me lol XD)
bibblykit - the secret lovechild of lemonleg and buffoongargle (it's up to you HOW they conceived it honestly, like how does buffoongargle reproduce?), black tom that bubbles constantly. he has no eyes. the only one who would take him in was yumepelt, and she has to keep bibblykit's secret hidden, or he would be culled
perfectionkit - white and brown japanese bobtail with green eyes who is worshipped every day. she doesn't understand. she was adopted from a dying kittypet who gave her to the clans
Eldres: tittasticrainbow - white she-cat with far too many titties and eyes made of glass, thought to have originated from bobyclan
Amount of titties: too many
Clan flower: titan arum
Favorite Wii U Game Poll Results: smash 4 - 100%, wii u is garbage - 50%, nintendo badge arcade - 1%
Ledere: honeycombstar - tom made of honeycombs who has amber eyes, thinks its just plumb wild to have intercourse with anthophila
Deputy: beeflower - queen bee with a royal crown made of flowers, some suspect she's the mate of honeycombstar, and largekit, orchidkit, and buzzkit of memeclan are her kits, thought she constantly denies it
Medicinal Cat: fruitfur - white tom with fruit clipart printed all over him and blue eyes. if you sniff a fruit, it will smell like it. if you lick a fruit, it will taste like it. he even has snozzberry. thought to be the forbidden father of TANGYKTI
Warbliers: finitenipple - gre\ay-green tabby tom with neon purple eyes who only has one nipple, and fears the thought of ever losing it. jealous of his apprentice
lampcupboard - cupboard with a lamp sticking out of it. the lamp has cat ears on it's lampshade and has titties
dolphinsplash - giant ice-blue bottle-nose dolphin with red eyes
edgyoc - black she-cat with giant emo hair, red eyes, and one white paw. daughter of scourge
sugartits - cute parakeet with pale green eyes and titties
teenageruffian - a cruel twoleg ruffian with a black shirt, pants, and beanie
gohogwildclaw - neon rainbow tabby tom with no eyes who often goes 'hog wild'
ashfur the second - it's literally just ashfur, but he has a warning sign branded to his fur (warning: hazardous)
drunkfeline - gray tabby she-cat with light red eyes who is always drinking 100% alcohol. rumor has it that her liver is indestructible
saltfire - cat made of pure sea salt, can light on fire when mad (all the time)
Aprointiceies: morosepaw - dark blue drippy she-cat with light blue eyes who is sad because she has no titties
ragepaw - flaming red tom withe bright red eyes who is angry because he has no nipples
seasonalpaw - tom who changes as the seasons pass. in newleaf, chicks nest on his back and his tail is made of flowers and he's light pink, in greenleaf his tail is made of leaves and he's green, in leaffall he's orange and is tail leaves are fall colored, and in leafbare he's white, has a scarf, and his tail is made of snow. his eyes are always blue
tittytittytittypaw - cream she-cat with three titties and blue eyes. most cats only get one titty, but she gets three!
happypaw - bouncy yellow she-cat with brown eyes who's happy because she has titties!
apatheticpaw - lazy gray she-cat with dark red eyes who doesn't bother to groom herself, and is apathetic towards titties. relatable
Queebs: legendarybitterness - she-cat with space patterned on her fur and gray eyes. any prey she touches instantly tastes bitter
kits, bubblekit, slashkit, yellingkit
Kites: bubblekit - small cat-shaped bubble with light blue eyes
slashkit - black tabby tom with swords for claws and red eyes
yellingkit - horrible neon yellow she-kit with pink eyes that always screams
Eldres: goosestrike - white tom with pure black eyes and only evil thoughts
notits - tooty-frooty she-cat with no titties and green eyes. she was put in the elder's den because of it, while she was just a wee lad
internet password - surewasnice0ftheprincess2inviteus0ver4apicnicgayluig1
style of windows - orbicular
final resting place - in the book, IT BURNS!
Ledere: trollstar - white tabby tom with a trollface for a head. tyrannical
Deputy: happycat - gray tom who's face is frozen in a smile. likes burgers
Medicinal Cat: poptartnyan - white she-cat with a hot fudge poptart for a body
Warbliers: spaghettiluigi - luigi as a cat.
toasterflame - silver toaster she that's conjoined with 50 other toasters. always burns your toast. here's the problem: too many toasters!
brokenscouter - a bunch of bits of vegeta's broken scouter. constantly emanates over 9000 videos
longcat - long white cat
eatencheese - jerry, but he ate a cheese
mineral crave - useless male mountain goat that does nothing but lick salt deposits
ogrescent - shrek as a cat
sanicfast - blue tom with a cream stomach and muzzle, and green eyes. he's really fast
weegeeeyes - looks like spaghettiluigi, but with a strange face
malleeoface - brother of weegeeeyes, looks like mario as a cat but with the same strange face. he's considered one of the prettiest cats in all of the clans
lossjpg - tom with the comic printed all over his fur. hated by all, and once you see him, you go mad, thinking anything is loss,jpg
Aprointiceies: dogepaw - small shiba inu dog
donkeypaw - donkey kong as a cat
dankpaw - green tom who always smokes weed. his tail and ears are pot leaves
evilpaw - ganon. he'll make your face the greatest in koridai
Queebs: gurglewing - white she-cat with red eyes who always has her head dipped, making awful gurgling sounds. some speculate that she's related to buffoongargle, but memeclan is much kinder to her
Kites: largekit - giant she-bee. gurglewing insists that she birthed largekit, orchidkit, and buzzkit
orchidkit - regular sized she-bee with a crest of flowers. gurglewing insists that she birthed largekit, orchidkit, and buzzkit
buzzkit - regular sized male bee. gurglewing insists that she birthed largekit, orchidkit, and buzzkit
eggkit - a mysterious egg that floats around emanating 'so much to do, so much to see.' was found on the border, has yet to hatch
Eldres: randomstar - black tom with rainbow eyes and waffles for paws. the previous leader. was a powerful cat that could destroy or make planets, however, he lost his power over time
i hope you enjoyed these SPICY allegiances. like it. subscribe to it. LOVE IT.
hello. time for. mor e TANGYNESS. this chptr is bigger than proglogi. EN JOY
tangyikt opened her sapphire blue eyes, the suns rays glimmering off of then, her orange, fruity fur drifting gently in the calm newleaf wind. her ribbons floated in the wind, at a rhythmic pace similar to that of her vitamin c filled pelt, sparkling with every movement due to the suns rays. her iridescent gem reflected the sunlight into the den, brightening it up with a beautiful display of pale yellow light! she got up from her nest with her elegant little paws, her tail swishing in the breeze. her eyes began to shine a brilliant rainbow, the nursery filling with all sorts of different colors! her ribbons flew even harder, her violet gemstone brightening! her fur rushed in the harsh storm, her ribbons beginning to change color! orange yellow green blue and purple appeared on her ribbons! the sky was now a vibrant chrome, the magnificent display spreading across the entire planet! her family ran up to her, trying to grab her and pull her back, but the bright rays of colorful light blinded them! "SISTER! STOP!" mewed her sightless siblings, their faces aching from the incredible hues. but she wouldn't be stopped! her gem was glowing brighter, and it started to shine hues of red along with its already vibrant hues of violet! she opened her mouth to speak, and a supersonic mew burst from her throat, knocking back the filthy weaklings surrounding her, trying to stop her from unleashing her ULTIMATE POWER! she let out more mews, blasting away all of her clanmates that had foolishly tried to approach her! her now tangled messy orange fur brightened into a beautiful yellow! a yellow aura began to appear around her as the nursery was enveloped in light of all different colors! the radiant display had blinded every living creature except for tangykit IN THE WORLD! SHE LET OUT SUPERSONIC SCREAMS OF 100000000 DECIBELS, LITERALY EXPLODING THE EARS OF LITERALLY EVERY LIVI NG BEING! THE CRIMSON LIQUID ON THE GROUND SHONE OFF EVERY DIFFERENT COLOR IMAGINABLE, SHINING INTO EVEN STARCLAN AND THE SPICE-RACK OF NO STARS! TANGYKIT'S ELEGANT YELLOW FUR BEGAN TO LIFT UPWARDS! SHE SCREAMED LOUDER AND LOUDER, DECIMATING THE PATHETIC EARS OF THE STARCLAN CATS! THE ONLY PAIR OF EARS REMAINING ON THE PLANET WAS TANGYKITS! SUDDENLY...
a piece of snow fell on tangy kits hed, and she went back to normal. "aww... i was so close, desu..." she saw an earless peppersteak angrily tapping her paws. tangykit was confused. "nani?" she turned her head and saw her clanmates on the ground, screeching and gurgling blood. "g-gomenasai?" an anime sweat drop appeared on her face. peppersteak shook his head. "oh, not again... tangykit, haven't we told you not to practice your powers in camp? it's gonna take forever to restore those ears." sighed the empty eyed medicine cat. "well, it's okay. you didn't know any better. well, now you know. time to restore these ears." said peppersteak. he padded off. tangykit decided to not stay in camp for what the leader would do. she snuck out threw a whole in the nursery!
uh. oh there goes tangykit. pray for her that she will survive in the wilderness! favorite tangy kit. you love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love love tangykit. you love tangykit.
edge and spice makes nothing nice
once again, tangykit is here. but now she's in the WILDINES, OUTSIDE OF THE CLAMS! THINGS ARE GONNA GET S P I C Y
tangykit loud around, the forbidden forest surrounding her! she was lost! her ribbons drifted backwards as she padded through the forest, trailing in the wind behind her. grass crinkled beneath her feet like potato chippy! she sighed. "i should've never left the camp, desu... the; forest;,,, it;, is.;,.',',;;'.',;;' SPICY..,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,desu" she continued walking when suddenly she tripped! she landed on her face. when she got up, she saw a brooding black she-cat with spectacular emo hair! ti reached the ground! she was flipping it back with her one white paw, revealing her ears had earbuds in them! she was listening to an iPod, playing evanescence and lincoln park and monster! "ugh happypaw, go away, can't you like, see I'm brooding?" she wasn't actually paying attention to the tangy she. tangykit poked her with her tiny citrus paw, hoping to get the edgy cat's attention, but she didn't seem to care. then tangykit poked her harder. still nothing. she jabbed a claw into the brooding she-cat, with still, no results. finally, she screeched and ripped out the edgy she-cat's earbuds, and then she snapped them in half.
"THE F*BEEP*K?" she jumped up and turned around. suddenly, she stopped ascending to a higher plane. "Wait, why the hell did I make a f*BEEP*king beeping noise?" she wildly looked around. "G*BEEP*mn stupid f*BEEP*king TV censorship laws can bite my ass!" she landed back on the ground. "Who the hell are you, and why did you break my damn earbuds!?" tangykit sat down and wrapped her cute little tail around her cute little paws, her cute little head looking up at the now vigilant oc. "i literally poked a claw into your gullet,," the cat looked down, and copious amounts of blood was pouring down her fur. "Oh, you wanted me to notice that gift? Just get the hell out." tangykit shook her head no. "actually, i need directions so i can get the hell out, desu." angered, the cat pulled a katana out of her ear. "ARE YOU TRYING TO BE MORE JAPANESE THEN ME?!" tnagykit stared. "i always say desu, desu..." but the edgy cat wouldn't listen. "WELL YOUR WRONG! YOU CANT BE MORE JAPANESE THAN ME, MY PARENTS DIED AND MY FATHER SCOURGE PAWCRAFTED A JAPANESE KATANA AND HIS MOTHER WAS FROM JAPAN!"suddenly, tangykit floated up to edgyoc's chest. "say one more word and i swear i fucking cut you open, desu" the oc wasn't listening. "TRY IT, WEEABOO!" suddenly, tangykit's eyes went pure black. "What the desu did you just fucking desu about me, you little desu? I'll have you know I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I've been involved in numerous secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I'm the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to me but just another desu. I will desu you the fuck out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think you can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. You're fucking desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and that's just with my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu. If only you could have known what unholy desu your little "desu" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you desu, you desu, and now you're desu, you goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking desu, kiddo." edgyoc stared. "wow... you're actually really edgy..." she sighed. "Alright, fine, I'll take you to your stupid destination. Where is it?" she was audibly cringing. tangykit replied with "i have to go to burbleclan, i live there, desu." edgyoc squinted. "That place is in a straight f*BEEP*king line from here." an anime sweatdrop was on tangykits face, her paw was behind her head, scratching it. "oh i guess i wasn't looking hard enough desu, anyway mata ne hope we meet again, desu!" she sped off, as fast as she could. edgyoc looked down at her broke earbuds and continued brooding, in silence.
there were many swears but that just goes to show how SPICY it is. like it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it. enjoy it. favorite it. review it.
wow the spice is TOO much for MANKIND. anyway, time for more TANGY
tangykit walked into camp, then realized that you cannot escape reality.
unless you are tangykit. moiststar said "its okay you are too tangy, but you are without spice, so your free to go" tangykit was happy, knowing that she could do anything without consequence. she could kill a man, and there would be no consequences. because she was perfect. without spice. NONSPICY. she went to the nursery and saw her mum and siblings. they had their ears returned.
bubsystrip said "IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE! YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!" and gave tangykit a mouse. "thanks mom" suddenly, rootkit began to glow. "my pun senses are tingling" she mewed in horror. bubsystripe spoke. "MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FORGET TO..."
"MEW YOUR PREY!" a bright flashed knocked all of the kits and other queens except for tangykit away. "mother don't, desu! my desu siblings can't handle it, desu!" she screeched. "BUT DEAR, THERE IS NO..."
"CLAWS FOR ALARM!" the nursery was destroyed! "MA STOP! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG, DESU!" but the bobcat would not stop. "DON'T YOU MEAN..."
"WHAT COULLD 'PAW'SIBLY GO WRONG?!" THE CAMP BLEWED UP! EVERYONE DIEDED! EXCEPT TANGYKIT AND HER MUM! "ma, i told you for a reason, desu. now i gotta bring them all back, desu." AND SHE DID! HOORAY FOR TANGYKIT!
"tangykit, for bringing us back, you and your siblings get to be a prints!" as he said a prints, printpaw stared up at him with a menacing glare. then, productplacement spoke. "but great moiststar, they're all two moons old! they're too young-" moister turned to look at him. "KILL HIM!" shouted the leader, and several cats ran forwards and ripped the poor tom to shreds. the other cats looked at the corpse in fear.
"do not question the leader. remember the neo warrior code. must i state it to you again?" all the cats looked up at moiststar. "n-no-" he stepped closer to the edge of the rock he called a meeting on.
"1, do not question the word of the leader. that's it." he meowed, stepping closer and closer to the edge. printpaw and googlypaw backed up away from the front of the rock. printpaw spoke.
"but the only rule is, there are no rules!" mewed the paper cutout she. moiststar snapped his head to look down at the two. "are you questioning me?" he raised an unsheathed claw. printpaw ran in frost of googlypaw, who was cowering behind her. "you wouldn't." she hissed, knowing exactly who he intended to kill. the sensational leader walked closer and closer towards her until...
he slipped off the rock. almost instantaneously, toongag grabbed a control box and pressed the button. a spike popped out of the ground and impaled moiststar! playdough screeched! "OH NO! THE GREAT AND SENSATIONAL MOISTSTAR IS DEAD!" the spike slid back into the ground, leaving the sensational tom as nothing more than a bloody heap on the ground!
some cats were shocked and horrified, while others were mumbling things like "good riddance!" suddenly, stars drifted around the dead tom, and he came back to life! peppersteak sighed. "he's on his last life now..." but tangyikit didn't care. she wanted to know who her and her tree siblings mentors would be.
"can you like, finish my warrior ceremony, desu?" she mewed cutely. the leader staggered up onto his feet. "oh, yes. yaokit will get the trio of treepaw leafpaw and rootpaw, and i will mentor tangypaw, because she;s so great and unspicy." yaoikit stared up at moiststar. "Pardon me asking, but may I inquire as to why I am receiving three apprentices?" she mewed, her voice being that of grant kirkhope's. "I'm not saying they are not fine young cats, goodness no! I am just unsure as to whether or not I have the experience to mentor these apprentices." moiststar looked yaoikit straight in the eyes. "do you think that scoobydoo is going to get an apprentice? or starvationstarve? productplacement is dead, and fresh oats is a goddamn pile of oats. so how about you shut your fucking muzzle before i rip it off and eat it as a substitute for freshkill." yaoikit simply blinked. "What about Playdough?" moiststar turned red, steam came out of his ears, and he screeched. "WHAT ABOUT PLAYDOUGH?! WHAT ABOUT PLAYDOUGH?! HE'S MADE OF CLAY!" the ground was shaking, the earth was trembling. yaoikit decided not to inquire further, and moiststar calmed down. "meeting dismissed" he padded into his den.
moiststar groomed his paws in his elegant den, which was made of pure gold, and he was laying on a red cushion that had gems encrusted on the sides. he had a personal pile of freshkill (which productplacement was now lying in), and he had a golden bracelet with a large ruby in the front of it, and gems around it. he had a crown that looked similar. a string of giant pearls surrounded the roof of the room.
suddenly, the diamond door was slammed open, by a pure white cat who could only be peppersteak. the sound of pearls being smashed rang out through the den. "peppersteak, you know my den is not to be barged into!" he hissed. "you're paying for that, you know." but peppersteak had it's mind on more important things. "moiststar, there is a prophecy!" moiststar turned around to face peppersteak. "and?"
"the citrus will rise and banish the darkness. however, beware, as all cats have their spice."
moiststar was in his den, pondering the prophecy peppersteak gave him. he then thought, WAIT! TANGYPAW IS CiTRUS! suddenly, he stopped. but wait...she has no spice... could it be, that the real star is lemonadekit?
suddenly, someone opened the bejeweled door that moiststar was playing bejeweled on. the cat opening the door gently pushed it, and nothing broke. in the entrance stood tangypaw. her fuzzy tangerine fur drifted with every moment, similar to the flailing of anime tiddies. her sparkly blue eyes bedazzled even the most beautiful of gems in the den, and her ribbons flew in the wind like a majestic bird. her glittery little heart shaped gem shone onto the den, turning the whole thing a vibrant purple! she lifted her kawaii head to look up at the sensational-no, dull, moiststar. she opened her mouth, the movement sending her fur out of control, it flying all over the place. if she wasn't so perfect and unspicy, moiststar would've ripped her beautiful face off. but he knew better. her perfect voice rose up from her throat, drowning out all sin in the world.
"can we train, desu?"
"sure" said the leader, his pride in himself replaced with his pride for tangypaw. moiststar put a paw on tangypaw's head, and teleported into a training clearing. tangypaw opened her mouth in surprise. "wow, you can teleport, desu!?" moiststar nodded. suddenly, TANGYPAW VANISHED! "TANGYPaW!? WHERE ARE YOU!?" screamed moiststar in sadness. suddenly, SHE REAPPEARED WITH HER SIBLINGS AND YAOIKIT! "so can we train now?" moister dropped his jaws in shock.
"YOU LEARNED HOW TO TELEPORT BY SEEING ME DO IT? YOU ARE A PRODIGY!" leafpaw sighed. "are you just gonna keep praising my sister or are you gonna train us?" her tone was that of an annoyed fox. her siblings except for tangypaw hissed at her. they all meowed at once "you fool! you mustn't criticize tangypaw! you must be punished!" moiststar nodded. "leafpaw, you must clean the elder's den for the rest of your life, only stopping to eat, train, or go on patrol. you will never have anymore free time, and you may not have a mate. if you break these new rules, you shall be killed." leafpaw nodded, sad. "anyway time to train" they learned how to hunt. tangypaw learned everything instantly! because tangypaw finished so fatst, she also learned how to fight and gather moss! "tomorrow we will go over the territory. anyway, time to go home. because you did so well, you get to eat from the freshkill of the stars!" tangypaw's jaws dropped. "REALLY!? BUT ONLY CATS OF LEGEND CAN EAT FROM THERE! AS WELL AS MEDICINE CATS AND LEADERS! BUT ONLY THEM! AND EVEN THEY CAN ONLY HAVE A TINY NIBBLE!" moiststar put his paw on her head again and teleported her to a cave filled with tiny stars, kept in little bottles hanging from the ceiling with magic energy!
"these stars are the souls of sinful cats that tried to escape the spice-rack of no stars. they are here to stay for all eternity." tangykit was confused. "isn't that a bit unfair, desu?" moiststar turned around. "no, because their evil. if there evil, then its ok." tangypaw pretended to understand. moister started to leave the cave. "eat all you want, be back before dark." tangypaw was shocked. "wait-" the leader was gone. "he just left me here with no directions on how to get back..." she stared at the cave exit. "aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
tangypaw sighed. she was lost again! twice in the same week! she screamed MORE! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" suddenly, she heard a cat walk by! she turned around and saw a STRACLAN CAT! "WOW A STARCLAN CAT?!" the star clan cat nodded. "yes, I am a strclan cat." tangyngypaw was honored! but the truth is, the one who should be honored was the star clan cat! and the star clan cat was honored! "why have u blessed me with ur presence?" meowed tangypapwakp. "because, tangy, i can lead you back home. take some freshkill from the pile and then follow me." tangy grab a piece of prey from the freshkill. IT TASTED LIKE THE BEST PREY EVER! the star clan cat said "it will give you more power for every piece you eat. usually, one is prohibited from eating more than a single bite. but you are amazing and special and gifted cat, so you can eat all you want!" "but i can't do that, desu. it's too perfect, too pure." the star clan cat was SHOCKED! "but, you, tangy... you are perfect and pure! more than the prey!" tangy sighed. "i just wanna go home, desu" the star clan cat teleported her back to camp! "thanks" said tangypaw. the star clan cat flew away. moiststar said "back already?" tangypaw nodded. her glimmering blu eys reflected the moon, sparkling brightly!1!11! but sudenly, they flamed up, reflecting rage in those once calmed eyes!1!111111!1!11!1! "WHY THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME IN THE FUCKING CAVE WITH THE FUCKING FRESHKILL WHEN YOU FUCKING KNEW I COULDN'T FUCKING FIND MY FUCKING WAY BACK!?1?!11/1/1?1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1/1SLASH!1!?1?!/1!1!ONE!?/1!?" moistar teard up, relizing what he had done. they droped on the ground, creating a flower of pur angst!1!1! "IM SORRY, TANGYPAW, WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?/!?1?1?1?!1" tangypaw thought to herself as he groveled at her paws. "hmmmmmm... no." moistar screamed and sobed grossly. "not unles you make the other kits apprentices." he immediatly stopped. then, he ran over to the edgyrock. "everyone go under the roock for a clan meeting!11111" cats gathered, some going "ugh, what now". printpaw shouted "COME ON! WE JUST HAD ONE YESTERDAY! If your gonna call a gathering, MAKE ME AND GOOGLYPAW WARRIORS!" moiststar replied with "your warriorship is delayed for another 50 moons" the two apprentices sighed. then, moiststar continued the ceremony. "wildkit lemonadekit and slappykit are now apprentices. dismissed." just as he was about to jump off the rock, tangypaw stopped him. "give them mentors." she said, her eyes hollow and reflectionless. moiststar didn't even turn around as he said "they all go to yaoikit. now let me go back to my den were i constantly praise tangypaw." he went into his den and did just that.
the spicy patrol
when wil moiststar learn that tangy isn't the only thing that matters in this world?
play dough was assigning the patrols. "the hunting patrol will consist of soupspin, SbubbyTM, freshoats, printpaw, and googlypaw. the border patrol will have staration-nevermind, saucestorm, scoobydoo, tangypaw, rootpaw, barkpaw, and leafpaw. i will lead the border patrol, and the great and sensational moiststar will lead the hunting patrol." moiststar shouted to him from inside his den, "NO I WON'T" playdough sighed. "fine, yaoikit will lead the hunting patrol." they left the camp, not knowing something BAD WAS GONNA HAPPEN! marking" meowed playdough impatiently. he immediately softened his tone and said "except you, tangypaw. take as much time as you want." rootpaw was confused. "what do you mean by marking our territory?" she asked. playdough replied with a deadpan "you don't wanna know." the apprentice just shrugged and grabbed a marker out of hyperspace, and started drawing across the border. playdough gasped. "how did we not think of that!? we should have just done that in the first place instead of pissing all over our territory!" all of the apprentices recoiled in horror, gagging. rootpaw disgustedly said "that's what you meant by marking our territory?!" the matured warriors all nodded at once. "yes, rootkit. we are all walking on the dried piss of our ancestors." rootpaw climbed up a tree and grabbed a bar of soap, and scrubbed her paws. she then dropped it on leafpaw, and put on spiky cleats. she kept chanting "piss", "oh god", and "why".
during rootpaw's madness mantra, barkpaw grew giant wings out of disgust and hovered above the ground. leafpaw was completely apathetic towards this, as her life had been already ruined. tangypaw was always clean, however, and repelled the piss. it sure was a surprised that the earth hadn't eroded away to nothing, due to how disgustingly spicy and dirty it was, from tangypaw's forcefield.
playdough sighed. "shouldn't you be used to have no hygiene standards when is comes to excrement?" the cats did not respond. "i'm guessing that's a definite no answer." suddenly, they heard a noise! rootpaw twitched her ear. "that sound..." her face grew dark and serious, and and tone darkened with it. a storm began to brew. "solicitors." the patrol followed the sound, and they saw cats KILLING AND EATING PREY ON BURBLECLAN TERRITORY! AND THEY WERE SELLING IT! playdough muttered "bobyclan scum" under his breath as rootkit ran over to the group of cats. "NO SOLICITORS" she shouted, her voice being that of eustace bagge's. the bobyclan cats turned around. a cupboard with a lamp sticking out of it said "think you're gonna make us leave? haha, WRONG!" another warrior, a bottlenosed dolphin, said "bobyclan is superior to your puny clan because we have titties!" the rest of the border patrol arrived, just in time to prevent rootpaw from pouncing and getting torn to shreds. "get off our territory or you won't be harmed you disgusting freaks" hissed playdough. the dolphin laughed in response. "YOUR territory? i think this territory rightfully belongs to bobyclan." playdough stepped closer. "on what grounds?" he spat. the cupboard replied with "because before your puny clan, starclan created this place for us! why do you think nipples grow on trees here?" barkpaw whispered to rootpaw "do you really think we need to keep this place? they can have all the nipples they want." playdough spun around. "I HEARD THAT, BARKPAW. WE HAVE TO KEEP THIS TERRITORY BECAUSE WE CAN." barkpaw was about to sigh, but playdough would've heard that, too.
"fine, if you won't leave with peace, you will leave with battle." hissed playdough. scoobydoo seemed unsure. "rhis roesn't reem like a rood ridea, rayrough..." playdough shook his head. "are you saying we should be cowards and retreat before the battle's started? not a chance!" he lunged at a bobyclan warrior and scratched his eye! then he scratched his other eye! "no!" now i will neve be able to see squirrelflight burst up into flames like i always wanted! suddenly, the cabinet slammed into playdough, knocking him off the other cat..
meanwhile, the apprentices were guarding tangypaw as she charged up her powers. "please no exploding our ears this time" mewed leafpaw. tangypaw could only reply with "no promises" before she began to glow eyes were pure rainbow, lighting up the stormy sky and chasing away the thunder! her ribbons thrashed about violently, creating huge gusts of wind knocking any cats behind her away! her gem glew brightly, and her ribbons became rainbow! her gem glew a bright red along with the purple! she let out supersonic mews, knocking away all the bobylan cats! but sudenly, she stopped glowing and her gem glew black! she tried to mew, but nothing came out! her ribbons became black as well! she pitifully tried to mewl, but nothing happened! her vision suddenly went dark, and she couldn't hear any of the yowling of cats fighting.
when she opened her eyes, she was trapped in a white void of nothingness. she floated around, and then tested to see if her voice was back. "hello?" mewed the perfect she. well, at least she could speak. but she was still trapped in an undisclosed location. she looked around wildly, until she saw a strange cat made out of pizza pies, with hollow black circles for eyes. she heard a barely audible whispering that she was unable to decipher. gradually, it became louder, and comprehenseble. "spicy. spicy. spicy. spicy." tangypaw still had to strain her ears to hear it, but it kept getting louder. "Spicy. Spicy. Spicy. Spicy." the figure got closer. "spicy? what's spicy?" she called out to the void, but her only response was the words growing louder. "SPICY. SPICY. SPICY. SPICY. SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY!" TANGYPAW HAD TO COVER HER EARS FROM THE PAIN! THE CAT STALKED CLOSER, A PAW WITH UNSHEATHED CLAWS OF CAROLINA REAPER PEPPERS. "SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY battle we had there..."
tangypaw's eyes shot open. she was in the medicine cat den, saucestorm and moiststar halted the conversation by pointing out that tangypaw was awake. moiststar turned around. "so you've come to?" tangypaw nodded. "what happened?" mewed the citrus she-cat. saucestorm dipped his head with sorrow as he said "you were knocked out by a bobyclanner... playdough and scoobydoo were killed, and barkpaw is missing... i mean, your other sibling rootkit got off with only light scratches, but you lost an ear!" tangypaw gasped! so many bad things happened all because of those mean bobyclanners! she cried, but the tears grew into little flowers that glew rainbow! she stopped crying and picked the flower. it was beautiful! suddenly, it glew, and restored her ear! "wow! a healing flower!?" she gasped. but she had no time fo r that. "were's leafpaw?" she mewed, hoping the sibling nobody acknowledged as hers was alright. but the reply she recieved was not one she wanted. "leafpaw's missing too. i mean, not that anybody cares, but-" "i have to go bye!" she mewed as she raced off to rescue her missing siblings.
tangypaw is in trouble! lets hope she is fine,,,,,
(Also, Miss Critic, did you even read the rest of those allegiances? How could you not notice this is a joke fic?)
tangypaw left camp. she had 2 save her siblings from the bobyclan menace!11111111!11!11111 she dashed through the sour candy hollow, leaves squishing under her cute anime paws!1!111!111 a rainbow trail followed behind her, because she was running so fast!1111!1!111!111!1 suddenly, she bumped in2... EDGYOC!1!1!1!11
"ugh, you again!?1?1!?/1! what the hell do you want now/11/!/1!?/1/1?" she hissed, her emo hair flailing in the wind.
"i need directions again, desu!1!11!11!1" mewed the beautiful tangy she-cat, panic in her voice.
"it better not be to f*BEEP*ing burbleclan again, because if it is, i will kill you and eat your corpse."
tangypaw said "no, i have to get to bobyclan!1!11!1!"
edgyoc seemed confused. "...why the hell do you have to go there? you're a burbleclanner. that's my clan."
TANGYPAW GASPED WITH SHOK. SHE WAS TALKING TO A BOBYCLANNER1?1!?1?1!?1?1!?1/1!/1!?1 MOISTSTAR SAID THEY WERE EVIL1!111!1!1!1!111!1!
"GIVE BACK MY SIBLINGS OR I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK AND EAT YOUR REMAINS!1!1111!111!1!1111!111!11!1!" SHE SHRIEKED SO LOUDLY, STARCLAN AND THE DARK SPICE-RACK COULD HEAR!11!1111 SHE WAS GLOWING RED, AND HER EYES WERE A BLOODY CRIMSON!1 EDGYOC COULD FEEL TANGYPAWS UNMATCHED POWER RISING QUiCKLY!1111!1!1111!11 TANGYPAWS FUR FLEW RAPIDLY, AND A GREAT STORM WAS BREWING!11!11111 SHE WAS SO STRONG SHE COULD END STARCLAN ITSELF!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111!1!11111!11!11111
edgyoc just stared. "...what. the f*BEEP*k. are you. even. talking. about."
tangypaw stopped glowing, and her eyes returned to blue. "nani?"
"wait, are you talking about those tree kits?" the oc hissed.
tangypaw muttered "they aren't kits anymore you asshole," under her breath as the edgy cat continued.
"we wouldn't have any use for them. they probably ran off and hid somewhere, like the cowards they are. we won they battle, and at least they knew to retreat, unlike the dog and the cat made of play-dough." she hissed.
edgyoc was right! she could sense her siblings' life energies!1!1111!1!1! they were hiding back in the tity forest in a hole covered by leaves!11!11!11 but then she realized that since bobyclan won the battle, they were on enemy territory!1!111!111!1
"thanks edge-san for the info! gotta go now!" the tangy apprentice sped off, forgetting her outburst. edgyoc just face-pawed, and went back to brooding.
tangypaw hid behind a large nipple tree, peering out from behind it. "bobyclanners... bobyclanners everywhere..." she muttered with a frown. they were hunting and training and talking about the latest gossip!11!1!1!111!1 it was horrible, but she had 2 get to her tree siblings b4 it was 2 late!1111!111 she crouched down and started crawling along the ground, going towards where she sensed her siblings. she was almost there. she was going to make it111!111 but suddenly, someone stepped on her tail!11111!1 she quickly slid it into the bush she was hiding in, and let out a quiet whimper!1!111 several cats looked around. but thankfully, they couldn't find her!1!1! she crawled towards the covered up pile, and removed the leaves!1!11 her siblings were they're!1!11!
"leafpaw! barkpaw! it's me, tangypaw!" she said as she slid into the hole. her siblings mewed with joy. they had been saved!1111 tangypaw put her paws on both cats' foreheads, and teleported them back to burbleclan!111!11111!1
"HOORAY!111!11 TANGYPAW SAVED THE DAY AND STOPPED THOSE EVIL KITNAPPING BOBYCLAN SCUM-" shouted the clan cats, before they were interrupted by tangypaw.
"no, you don't understand! it was a misunderstanding! nobody was kitnapped! they were just hiding from the bobyclanners!1!1!1! all that matters now is that they're safe." she mewed.
moiststar left his den to congratulate her. "congratulations, tangypaw!11!1!1 i think it's time for you to get your warrior name and become my deputy-"
tnagypaw sighed. "i would love the honor of getting my warrior name, and though it would be splendid, im just not prepared, especially not to be deputy."
moiststar was shocked. "but how? you are perfect, and pure! and who would be deputy without you1/1?111/1?11/1!/11"
tangypaw opened her eyes. they were filled with stars!111!1 "starclan has given me a message. appoint yaoikit as your deputy, she is fit for the role, more than i could ever be right now."
moiststar was confused. "yaoikit? but she's the dumbest idiot ever!1111! she is a mere bug in front of a fox!1!1 a kit compared to a legend!1!1!1" he meowed, clearly biased towards tangy. but you would do the same, would you not?
tangypaw sighed and dipped her head. "that is the will of starclan, and the will of starclan is the will of me. if you do not follow them, you do not follow me." she meowed as she turned around, heading towards the camp exit. suddenly, she stopped as she heard moiststar's sensational voice.
"let all cats who are old enough to gurgle gather under the graffitirock for a clan meeting!1!1!1" he shouted as he jumped up onto a glimmering stone sent from starclan, now vandalized to look like your average skatepark wall.
tangypaw turned around, and joined the small crowd of cats beneath the rock. she was like a beautiful oasis in a vast, empty desert!11!1!11 her shimmering orange pelt, her blue, sapphire eyes, her flowing ribbons and her beautiful gem stuck out in the average clan. however, she acted humble, and gazed up at the leader like everyone else. why, thought moiststar. why does she act like she's just as bad as the rest? she's a star in a lone, night sky!
however, he did not have time to dwell on that. he needed to do what tangypaw had told him to do. "everyone, the time to appoint a new deputy has come, for play dough has passed fighting for our territory. i would appoint the cute, beautiful, talented, amazing, wonderful, pure, perfect tangypaw to be deputy, but according to her, she is not ready, and whatever she speaks is truth!1!1!1!1! so, yaoikit is deputy now, meeting dismissed." he jumped off the rock and headed back into his den. tangypaw sighed.
"when will moiststar learn that tangy isn't the only thing that matters in this world?"
that was the one time what she spoke was not truth.
gathering of spice
tangypaw is waking to a new day. i agree, dark of dogclan. he doesn't understand the truth. he cannot ever live up to tangy
tangypaw woke up. it was morning. "boy i hope nothing SPICY happens desu" she said.
she heard moiststar say "clan meeting, gather, now"
tangypaw frowned. "something spicy is happening, isn't there" she left the den and went to the grafittirock.
"the gathering is tonight. the cats who will be going are yaoikit, tangypaw, barkpaw, rootpaw, goopypaw, printpaw, googlypaw, soupspin, and sbubbyfreef. im not going."
yaoikit tipped her head to the side. "And why not? Shouldn't a leader be there with his own Clan at the gathering? It is only Clan tradition!"
but moiststar wasn't gonna listen. "i hate the other clans. yaoikit, you act like the leader. say i came down with puke-yellowcough or something." yaoikit sighed.
tangypaw was excited!11!11! her first gathering!1!1 she could meet so many other cats!11111111!111! maybe she could see edge-chan again? she was sad that moiststar wasn't going though. maybe he was still mad about the battle yesterday. "wait, how come leafpaw isn't coming?" she mewed cutely.
"leafpaw is garbage. she insulted you." he replied.
tangypaw gasped!111! "what!?1!?1?1!/ she didn't do that!111111111!1!11!1!1 stop being mean 2 her!1!11!11!11!1!1!11" moiststar looked at the sad she-cat made of leaves who was cleaning the elder's den. then he looked back at the perfect anime tangy prodigy apprentice. he sighed.
"you may not realize it now, but this is for you and the clan's own good. leafpaw is a demon, because she thought you getting countless praise was less important than her future." tangypaw didn't feel like that was right, but there was nothing she could do for now. "anyway, yaoikit assign the patrols or whatever. im going back to making a shrine devoted to tangypaw." and with that, he went back into his den.
yaoikit assigned the dawn patrols. "The cats on our first hunting patrol of the day shall be Tangypaw, Leafpaw-" yaoikit was interrupted by moiststar shouting at him not to include her from inside his den, but she didn't reply. "...Starvationstarve, and Soupspin. I will lead it. And for our border patrol, it will have Bubsystripe, Wildpaw, Googlypaw, and Sbubbyfreef. It will be lead by Freshoats. Meeting dismissed." and with that, she leapt off the rock and motioned for the hunting patrol to follow her.
tangypaw caught so much prey!11!111!1!1 she had all the food in the territory!11!1111 "wow tangypaw how are you so good at hunting" asked soupspin.
"yeah i really wanna know so nobody has to starve" said starvationstarve.
tangy said "i don't know" and shrugged.
"you should be infinitely rewarded. you can go back to the freshkill of the stars whenever with this key that moiststar once owned, but now he gave it to you!111!1 this was his only access to starclan outside of his dreams, and now it goes to you!1!111!11!111" said soupspin.
tangypaw gasped!11!11!11111!1"but he's the leader! it belongs 2 him!1!11"
suddenly, moiststar appeared. "now it's yours." then he vanished.
"well then ok, desu" she mewed. the key teleported her to the freshkill of the stars!1!1!1!
"i still think this is overdoing it, desu..." she said to herself. she suddenly heard the clinking of glass!1!1!1111 she looked around. "huh? who's there?"
she heard a quiet voice. "behind you."
she looked behind her, but all she could see was another bottle on a string. "i can't see you..." she mewed.
the light in the bottle began to glow brighter!11111 "you can." it was the spirit in the bottle talking!11111!
"huh? your a dark spice-rack cat!1! why are you talking to me?" said tangypaw. the light floated within its bottle.
"no, young cat. i was a starclan cat who was wrongly chased out into the spice rack of no stars... i tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't listen..."
tangypaw gasped!11 "that's mean!1!1" the spirit let out a sigh.
"it may be, but it is true. if only someone could let me out of this bottle... and help me convince them that they were wrong..."
suddenly, a light bulb appeared above tangypaw's head!1!11 "i can let you out!"
but the spirit thought otherwise. "the bottle is sealed with a special magic that can only be removed by the one who sealed it.."
tangypaw was not sad though. "i could convince them to let you out! everyone seems to love me! who did this?"
however, the mysterious cat in the bottle still didn't have high spirits. "i do not know what specific cat this is, or whether or not they are even still around..."
tangypaw's ears drooped. "i'll find a way, somehow. in the meantime, you wait here. i'll tell you if something comes up, desu! i have to go home now, so soredewa mata!11!" she vanished as quickly as she arrived.
he let out an evil laugh!1!1
"i'll finally get my revenge on that pesky moiststar..."
later, it was nighttime. peppersteak gave everyone traveling herbs. "wait, why do we need these?" asked tangypaw.
peppersteak said "in case of demons." tangypaw nodded and joined the group of traveling cats.
soon everyone had arrived at the gathering. cats murmured with confusion as they saw 2 moon old kits in with the crowd of burbleclan. tangypaw spotted edgyoc in the group of bobyclan cats and waved. when edgyoc saw this she recoiled in disgust and ran away. tangypaw didn't understand why, though. she quickly turned to see the cats standing up on the giant lifesavers, ;rage flowers surrounding them. this was fourlifesavers, the gathering place that was said to be carved out by starclan itself!1!1
soon, the first of the leaders, selfinsertstar, began to speak. "ねえ、 paesanos ！これは、スーパーマリオブラザーズスーパーショーです！私たちは、マリオブラザーズをしている、と配管は、我々はすべての名声を得る他の人を好きでいない、私たちのゲームです。" she nudged the cat in ninja garb beside her, who was dozing off. quickly, the cat sprang awake and began translating her sentences.
"desuclan is completely doing fine! yumepelt 3 health kit , nintendokit, there was a new litter of segakit, and sonykit. They will make a great brother for sakurakit and bibblykit." cats murmured to each other in confusion. the clan translator chuckled nervously. "a-any... questions?"
a loud sigh was heard from a dark blue she-cat in the audience with giant scene hair. "selfinsertstar was actually saying 'desuclan is doing perfectly fine! yumepelt has had a new litter of 3 healthy kits, nintendokit, segakit, and sonykit. they will make great siblings for sakurakit and bibblykit.' you're the worst clantranslator in the history of the clans!" the other cats nodded, now understanding what the perfect leader (me XD) said. tears welled up in the eyes of the clan translator beside me. she ran away crying. the cats stared, shocked.
"三つ子誕生し、位を待っています 予言者は、致命的な運命を警告します あなたの子供をあきらめ、別々の あなたの時間を待つ、待機中にあります！, moiststar-" i turned around. "yaoikitちゃん？ ！どこmoiststarくんは何ですか？そして、一覧playdoughくん？"
yaoikit tilted her head in confusion. the cat that spoke up earlier said "she's asking where your stupid deputy and idiot leader are." several burbleclan cats fur bristled, but nothing more.
yaoikit said "Playdough is... dead. However, with every pillar that is broken, a new one is rebuilt. I am the new deputy of BurbleClan, and I will make sure that this Clan grows into the strongest of them all. I will make sure that food goes to our kits, and our kit's kits, and every generation onwards. I will make sure that every cat in the clan is honored and congratulated by all, from the youngest kit to the oldest elder. I will-"
"GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!" shouted a cat from the crowd.
yaoikit sighed. "A-anyway... BurbleClan is doing-"
another cat from the crowd spoke up. "what about moiststar? not that im complaining."
yaoikit said "He... is sick. With puke-yellowcough."
another cat said "puke-yellowcough isn't real!"
"i knew it. moiststar is a coward." hissed trollstar. "he appointed a KIT as deputy!" murmurs rang through the crowd. tangypaw looked up at the moon. it was covered up with fox mcclouds!1!1! cats began to grow tense!1!11
"you couldn't even defend your own clan's territory!" hissed honeycombstar!1!11111 cats nodded and growled at each other!1!1
one cat shouted "LETS BEAT EACH OTHER UP!1!" cats began to fight each other!1!111 i shrugged and watched DX!1!1!11
suddenly, tangypaw jumped up!1!11 all of the cats stopped and looked up!1!1 the sky cleared!111! the pale moonlight shone brightly on tangypaw's citrus fur, her ribbons flowing in the wind, snow drifting by!111! her gem glew a bright purple, and all the cats were calmed!1!11 "we were wrong to fight!11!11"
yaoikit stared down. "What just happened?" tangypaw shrugged. the other leaders started leaving.
"Wait, where is everybody going?" said yaoikit.
honeycombstar replied with "this gathering sucked. try to actually bring your leader next time."
with that, the crowds of cats left the gathering place to reflect on what happened.
oh boy that got PRETTY SPICY. but i hope you enjoy watching SUFFERING and SPICE because trust m is coming.
spice in the clan
hears' the next captor. weinerless steve... who took your wiener away from you... i will capture them and put them to death. anyway here is the story
cats entered into burbleclan camp, confused at the events that just took place. tangy went into the elders den.
leafpaw turned around. "what are you doing here, perfectpaw? i thought you were too busy getting showered with praise by moiststar." she spat, her fur bristling.
tangypaw signed and looked down. "leafpaw, i have something to say. i-" suddenly, she heard moiststar call her. she ran out of the den, leaving an angry leafpaw behind.
"tangypaw, there is something important i need to tell you. bobyclan is slowly advancing towards camp. they are taking burbleclan territory!" meowed moiststar, the shining of the diamonds in his den being dwarfed by a mere strand of tangypaw's perfect citrus fur.
tangypaw tilted her head. "why are you telling me this, desu?" she mewed, the sheer harmony of her mew causing a whole choir of twoleg singers to cry at it's majesty.
"because tangypaw, i need you to become a warrior!"
tangypaw gasped . "don't u remember what i told you earlier, desu? it is not starclan's will for me yet."
moiststar sighed. "fine... but will you at least lead the border patrol tomorrow?" tangypaw nodded. "ok thanks u may rest"
and with that, tangypaw went into the apprentice den to sleep.
sorry 4 small chapter but soon things are gonna get real SPICY
hey agebn evrybody i dont wana keep youWAITING but unFORTUNATELY i hadm 2 get the CHAPTER RIGHT. HERE IS TSITs. IMALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IMIM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IMIM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IMIM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IMIM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT
tagnypaw woke up from her sleep. she heard moiststar holding a can meeting first thing in the morning. maybe he chagned his mind? she wondered. she paded out of the den.
"today there is going to be a new apprentice. this rogue was found outside camp. i woud've killed him, but yaoikit stopped me. so. heres radpaw. whatever."
tanypaw saw a neon green cat with shades sitting beside moiststar. goopypaw was staring up at him with hearts in his eyes, but moiststar glared at him.
"your a medicne cat, goopypaw. hes not even cool as his name miht suggest" hissed the leader. goopypaw cried tears of broken dreams as moiststar continued. "yaoikit, you are his mentor. now-"
he was interrupted by the deputy. "I'm sorry Moiststar, but I'm going to have to put my paw down. I already have seven apprentices, and you expect me to have another?!" yaoikit softened her tone, realizing just who she was talking to. good choice. "I mean, I'm just not sure what your logic is. ...Oh great and sensational Moiststar."
"we already had this discussion. nobody in the clan is fit to have an apprentice." replied the sensational leader.
"But what about Toongag and Bubsystripe? They've cared for younger cats in the past, and-"
moiststar interrupted yaoikit with a sigh. "yaoikit, you know what happens when you dont follow the warrior code? word of the clan leader is law.
"That isn't in the code, though..." replied yaoikit. printpaw and googlypaw were cheering her on.
"fine, the burbleclan code. if you break it, you must go to the bee hallow and swallow 40 entire bees. i think printpaw and googlypaw here can attest to that."
yaoikit knew her plight was useless. "Fine..." she had been defeated, and she definitely did NOT want to eat bees. i wouldnt wanna eat bees
moiststar finished his sentence. "now yaoikit go arrange the patrols. oh and make tangypaw the leader of the border patrol."
"But isn't she a apprentice? A FOUR MOON OLD apprentice at that-"
moiststar silenced her by pointing his paw out in the direction of the bee hallow. "but aren't you NOT wanting to eat bees? 40 bees at that."
"Yes, oh great and sensational Moiststar..."
"good. now arrange the patrols"
tangypaw wished that moiststar was nicer to her clanmates. they were all as good as her, if not better! oh you foolish innocent tangypaw
yaoikit began arranging the patrols. "The hunting patrol shall consist of Freshoats, Slappypaw, Wildpaw, and Shampaw. It will be lead by me. The border patrol will have Sbubbyfreef, Toongag, Printpaw, and Googlypaw. And of leader of the patrol will be..." yaoikit sighed. "...Tangypaw. Meeting dismissed."
tangypaw felt a heavy weight on her back. she was responsible for a whole patrol! she knew what her missioins were. 1, mark teritory. 2, figure out what bobyclan was doing. and 3, save burbleclan from the evil bobyclanners!
but still... something felt off. edgyoc was in bobyclan, so they couldnt all be bad, right? even then... tangypaw felt a terriible feeling of dread whenever she went near the place...
she realized she didnt have time to dwell on this. she had a mission and she was going to complete it! "alright everyone lets go, desu!" the other cats nodded and they headed out.
"where are we going first?" asked toongag.
tangypaw froze. moiststar never told her where to go first! this was her first iportant desicion as a patrol leader! "uh... i guess... desuclan... desu" she then realized that she also did not know where desuclan territory was.
"alright then, lead the way!"
tangypaw looked around frantically. "i dont actually know where it is..."
"thats ok. that old moiststar never showed you the territories, huh?" replied toongag. "honestly, he's kind of a terrible leader. he barely lets us have any free time!" she quickly stopped herself. "oops, i rambled a bit there... its north of here"
tangypaw let out a sigh of relief. she was worried everyboydy would get mad at her! but things were fine.
they went north and saw a very distinct territory that looked like it was ripped stragiht from a manga!
"well, lets get marking!" she went over and started drawing a line with a grape-scented marker.
printpaw went over to tangypaw, googlypaw following close behind. "where did you get that marker, anyway? theres no markers here in burbleclan..."
tangypaw stared down at the marker. "where did i get it?" she shrugged. "i guess it doesn't really matter."
googlypaw spoke up and said "apparently theres crayons all over burbleclan teritory, but ive never seen one myself..."
"maybe we could find one or two today?" mewed tangypaw.
"that'd be nice!"
soon the burbleclan cats finished marking the desuclan border. "looks like desuclan isnt up to anything fishy!" chirped googlypaw.
"at least thats some streerts off my miim," grumbled sbubbyfreef as incoherent as ever. "but bobyclan are the reer fiif ones heere. theyre a hurgling bunch"
"well, we better check memeclan teritory next, i guess..." said tangypaw
toongag realized that tangypaw didnt know where memeclan teritory was either. "west"
so, the patrol headed off, unaware of lurking eyes.
they arrived at memeclan later that morning and saw fast stretches of webpages, with scrollbar trees and computer mice running around everywhere.
"this place sure is weird," meowed printpaw.
sbubyfreef said "weird isnt nesecarily a bad thing!"
"enough dawdling we gotta get marking! moisstar will be mad at you if we dont get marking!" mewed tangypaw, knowing that even if she did nothing to help, the rest of the patrol would be blamed for it. why is moiststar like that?
toongag nodded. "shes right. the more time we spend here, the less free time we have to do the things we enjoy!"
printpaw tilted her head. "which is?"
the toon cat tried to think of something, anything that she enjoyed at camp. "well... eating? and not having moiststar around?"
"honestly, the only reason im still in burbleclan is because of googlypaw. hes one of the only good things about burbleclan."
"oh no, printpaw, you really shouldnt have!" meowed googlypaw. "i mean, compared to you, i may as well have been found in the trash!"
"dont say that! youre amazing!"
sbubbyfreef tapped the two of them on the back with his tail. "we gotta maam the territory."
googlypaw and printpaw nodded sheepishly. "yes, sbubbyfreef..."
tangypaw shook her head. "its fine, im the only one here with a marker anyway, desu." suddenly, she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. by a bush, there was a purple crayon and a yellow crayon! "look! i found some crayons!"
googlypaw gasped. "how did you find them so easily? ive never seen a single one!"
tangypaw shrugged. "lol idk, desu" she tried marking the ground with one of them, but it wouldnt work. "we cant use them to mark the ground, though..."
"thats fine!" mewed printpaw. "ive got a better use for them, anyway." printpaw took the crayons and drew a beautiful orchid flower on googlypaws head.
"printpaw, youre too sweet! how did someone so sweet end up in burbleclan?" said googlypaw. she probably wouldve had hearts in her eyes if they werent made of plastic.
printpaw nuzzled the sketched tom. "what i wanna know is how someone as sweet and kind as you ended up there!" she looked over at the citrus cat. "thanks for finding these, i really appreciate it!"
"no problem, desu!" replied tangypaw. "im all done marking the memeclan border, by the way!"
"that leaves us wiiw..." said sbubbyfreef.
"bobyclan." finished toongag.
tangypaws heart pounded in her chest. this was where the real mision began! the fate of everyone in burbleclan rode on this mission! "well lets go!"
this time, tangypaw knew where bobyclan teritory was, she had been there several times, so find it was a breeze. she saw the tity forest that once belonged to burbleclan and frowned. some bobyclan cats were hunting while others were looking for crayons and grinding them into dust.
"why are they doing that?" said tangypaw.
toongag sighed. "they're probably trying to get the energy that crayons produce. they can be powerful if you find the right color. but right now we need to worry about this issue."
tangypaw charged over. "GET OFF OUR TERITORY DESU!"
one of the cats turned over. it was the grey tabby that had his eyes scratched out. "ugh we won this territory so let us have it!"
"you won it through faaf meem!" yelled sbubbyfreef. "if tangypaw hadnt been incapacitated, we woow woow!"
a twoleg ruffian said "haha! i cant eveen understand you, loser!"
toongag grabbed a switchbox. "alright, thats too far! taking our teritory is one thing, but making fun of sbubbyfreef for the way he speaks?! thats just sick." she tossed it at the twoleg, making him scream in pain. he fell over. "now, get off our teritory!"
a flaming cat spat flaming hairballs at toongag, making her become depressed and go back to burbleclan! then the bobyclan cat spat another one at sbubbyfreef!
"sbubbyfreef! toongag! no!" cried googlypaw. he realized in horror that he was made of paper and he would burn easily! and so would printpaw!
but just as more fire came towards them, tangypaw stepped over! a shield of pure perfection reflecting the flames back at the bobyclan cats, causing all but one of them to retreat!
suddenly, tangypaw felt that sense of dread from earlier, except in full force. her ribbons and gem went pitch black again, and the last thing she saw before her vision went black as well was a̵̧ ̵̵́c̀͘at̛̕͜ ̶͞mad̡e̛͟ ҉͢o͜͝҉f̶̕ ͜͏p̢͜i͏̷z̸z͏a͘͢҉ ̀pi͢e҉s̀.̧́
guys i tried my best but i couldnt shake the feeling that something isnt right. i hired a beta editor. time will tell if this works out
Tangypaw awoke with a start, her fur bristling with fear. Her round sapphire eyes looked around frantically as she realized she was in an unfamiliar clearing. The thick leaves overhead blocked out the moonlight, and tangled thistle bushes surrounded her, blocking her every move.
She heard a rustling in the bushes, and her eyes widened in terror. "Who are you!?" she hissed, her tail lashing and her fur puffed out in an effort to scare away whoever was there.
Out of the bushes came a small yellow apprentice, who smelled of BobyClan. "Hi, I'm Happypaw! I heard you were Tangypaw, correct?"
Tangypaw frightfully nodded. "...Yes..." She usually wasn't this skittish, but the feeling of dread had not gone away, and the fact that this cat was from BobyClan only made this worse.
"Well, I'm happy to meet you! ...Get it? Happy?" the she-cat paused for a moment. "...Nevermind." She beckoned towards the massive walls of thistle with her tail. "There's an opening just small enough for an apprentice to slip through! Come on!"
Tangypaw was hesitant. Sure, Happypaw seemed like a nice cat, but Tangypaw had seen first-paw what BobyClan had done. But she decided to follow along anyway, because there wasn't really much else to do. She sighed and went after the yellow she-cat, unsure of what to expect next.
When they went through the small tunnel and emerged, they were greeted by a large expanse of forest, with shadowy creatures crawling about, and many unfamiliar scents lurking in the air. It was darker than the blackest night, and the only things illuminating it was the glowing red eyes of all the creatures.
"This was a pain to get through, but we can make it!" mewed Happypaw, her cheerful demeanor not wavering an inch. Tangyorange found this very admirable, as she would've faltered withing five seconds of seeing the forest. Tangypaw. You NAIVE NAIVE NAIVE NAIVE NAIVE NAIVE
Happypaw reached her paw downwards, followed by a splashing sound. "You have to be careful jumping across here, you have to land on tiny logs." Happypaw bounded across effortlessly, not even with her eyes open.
Tangypaw, however, did not even make it past the first log before she plunged into the murky depths of the river. She was quickly lifted up by her scruff.
"I told you to be more careful!" said the BobyClan apprentice. "I guess I made quite a few mistakes here, too... But you're the amazing Tangypaw!"
Tangypaw turned her head away, avoiding eye contact. "Well, actually, I'm not really perfect or anything, desu-"
She was interrupted by Happypaw dragging her to the next obstacle, a tangle of thorned vines made of pure darkness and spice! "You have to be strong enough to endure the painful prick of bad dreams, or you won't survive... I almost died here!"
Tangypaw sighed in relief. This would be easy! she walked over, and her purity eroded away the thorns and the vines!
Happypaw gasped with amazement! "Wow Tangypaw, you really ARE amazing!"
Tangypaw sat down and thought for a bit. "You know, I could teleport back home, desu..."
The other apprentice just stared. "...You don't wanna go to BurbleClan right now."
"BobyClan, my Clan, has kitnapped the deputy!"
alright i hope you enjoyed it even with the new editor. i have more things to discuss with them so anyway SEE YOU ALL I LOVE YOU :) :) :) :) :) :) PLEASEHELP :) :) :) :)