(A/N: Hey, y'all, this is my attempt at writing a trollfic. I don't know how funny/horrible it's going to be, so bare with me. If you have ideas for how I could improve the terribleness of the story, let me know. I want to make this as bad as possible (though with mostly correct grammar). )
The Glittering Empress
Leader: Moralstar- black tom
Deputy: Goodheart- ginger she-ca
Medicine Cat: Doctorwho- dark brown tom
Firestorm- boring tortoiseshell he-cat
Wildflame- boring ginger tom
Hopevegetable- gray she-cat
Sunmuffin- ginger she-cat
Blueberry- dark blue-gray she-cat
Ashphone- dark gray tom
Vitaminheart- white tom
Tacobreath- cream-collored mot
Sandpaw- boring ginger she-cat
Dictionarypaw- brown and white tom
Netflixpaw- read she-cat
Nerdpaw- boring blueish tom
Cinderclaw- boring silver she-cat (mother of Basketballkit- orange tom and Elephantkit- gray tom)
Sparkledawn- ginger se- kat (mother of Jaykit- gray tom and Tattletalekit- brown she-cat)
Majesticexcellency- beautiful golden tabby with crown-shaped markings on her hed and brillian greed eyes (mother of Empresskit- gorgeous pale pink fur with golden star-shaped spots and rainbow eyes and Dumbkit- dumb boring brown to)
Leader: Hopestar- ugly black mot
Deputy: Weirdlookingface- brown she-ca with a werd-luking face
Medicine cat: Herbmouth- green she-ca
Meaniehead- mean ugly tom
Bossyleaf- bossy ginger she-cat
Snowwhite- white she-cat
Grayfoot- boring tom with gray paws
Lilybeauty- purple tom
Tigertail- black and white tom
Princessheart- brown and white tom
Disneychannelisawesomeheart- purple she-cat
Evilpaw- possibly evil red tom
Nicepaw- possibly nice white she-cat
Roseugly- yellow and black she-cat (mother of rodentki- black tom and ididn'twantkitskit- rejected she-kit)
Tansyheart- boring slender ginger she-cat with green eyes (mother of Starkit and Mallowkit- long-furred black she-cats with white chests and amber eyes)
A starry cat looked into a pol. Anudder starry cat asked "Wut is it?"
"A prophecy!" the first starry cat sed. "Out of the dumb stuff, a glittering empress will come and get rid of the dumb and mean stuff!"
"It's about Empresskit!" the second starry cat exclaimed.
The first starry cat nodded. "Empresskit will be the savor of the Clans, Firestar. We will need to guide her and make sure everyone knows that she is perfect!"
"She will be the best leader the Clans have ever seen someday!" Firestar meowed. "Thank you for seeing dis profecy, Bluestar."
Bullstar nodded. "An Empress alone will save PerfectClan."
"I'll teel Doctorwho," Firtsar meowed, walking away from the pool.
(A/N: Was dat gu? Man, it's heard typing like that. Anyway, flame away if you want to!)
(A/N: Okay, here we go. Chapter 1. Take a deep breath, everyone.)
Chapter 1: The Ceremony
"Empresskit, wake up!" Empresskit woke up. She was tired. She was sleepy.
"Empresskit, wake up!" Majesticexcellency sed again. "You have to awake now. Today is important!"
Suudenly, Empresskit was very wake. She remememberd what today was! Today she would become an apprentice today!
"My beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful, perfect kit, I don't know why you have to become an apprentice," her mom continued. "You're too perfect already. Moralstar shuld just make you a warrior."
"Thank u, mama." Empresskit mewed.
Dumbkit sat up. "What about me?"
Majesticexcellency looked away from her son. "You're not beautiful, gorgeous, or wonderful. You're too dumb to be an apprentice."
"I'm not dumb," the boring borwn tom sad. "I'm very smart."
"You are not as smart as your sister," mom cat sed.
Empresskit nodded. "I am very smart."
Dumbkit glared. "At least I'm normal looking. If I had pink fur with stars in it and rainbow eyes, I'd be sick!"
"That's so mean!" empresskti cried. "Don't be a meanie! You have to be nice!"
Majesticexceellency nodded. "Just for that, OI'm telling Moralstar to delay your ceremony, Dumbkit."
Empresskit bounced out of the nursery. Her brother had gotten in trouble! Now he would learn his lesson and be a nice cat!
"Empresspaw, come here its tim for your ceremony!" moralstar mewled from the tree stump.
Empresskit walked over to the stump as the entire clan started cheering for her.
Moralstar began the cermony. "Empresskit, you are so beaitful and awesome and because of that I will mentor yu."
"Wow!" Majesticexcellency gasped. "My Daddy's going to mentor my perfect daughter!"
Empresspaw beamed with joy. The good and moral leader was her mentor! He was not only good and moral, but also hot! She'd had a crush on him forever and now she's get to spend every day wit him!
But den, Doctorwho the medicine cat came up to her. "Empresspaw, there is a porpoise. It ses 'Out of the dumb stuff, a glittering empress will come and get rid of the dumb and mean stuff'!"
"I don't understood!" Empresspaw cried. "What does it mean?"
(A/N: Poor Dumbkit. He's not really dumb, is he?)
The Battle with MeanClan
(A/N: Okay, here we go again. Let's see what happens next. I don't know what's going to happen (because I wrote the AN before the chapter and I have no plot...).)
The Battle with MeanClan
Empresspaw waltzed to the apprentice's den, where Nerdpaw, Netflixpaw, and Dictionarypaw were sleeping. She looked at the handsomest one. "Hey, Nerdpaw, let's go on a patrol!"
"Okay!" Nerdpaw mewd. He got up and kissed her. "You're so hot. I know you love me even more than Moralstar."
"I love both of you," Empresspaw meowed.
They went out of the den. Moralstar came up to them. "Wear are you going with my apprentice?" he hissed.
Nerdpaw glared at him. "We're going on patrol. She's going to be my mate."
"No!" Moralstar sed. "She's going to be my mate!"
"I love her more!"
"No! I do!"
Empresspaw stared at the toms. "It's okay. I'll be both of your mates."
Moralstar nodded. "Okay. That seems fair."
"Yes. Sharing is caring," Nerdpaw added.
The too cats walked to the entrance to the camp, but then MeanClan! They came into PerfectClan attacking! There was Hopestar and Weirdlookingface and Meaniehead and Bossyleaf and Snowwhite and Princessheart and Disneychannelisawesomeheart and Nicepaw and Evilpaw! MeanClan was being Mean!
Empresspaw was socked. She was shocked and anry! How could MeanClan attak her Clan? PerfectClan was prefect in every way! They were te nice cats. She jumped on Princessheart and stratched him. Blood squirted out and he ran away in fear. Wow, Imma good fighter! Empresspaw thought. Then she jumped on Hopestar and scratched his nose! He cried out in pain.
"PerfectClan, you have defeated me!" Hopestar meowed. "You stupid Clan have beat me- the best leader in MeanClan history! How could you do this to me? We'll be back!" Then he and the rest of MeanC;an went hom.
But then! Empresspaw saw sumthing! It was Dumbkit and Nicepaw! They were kissing!
(A/N: wusnt dat gud? I did a cliffhanger! Dat proves Im a good author!
So she's going to have two mates at the same time...and they both know about each other. This could be a problem...
Dumbkit is Dumb and Nicepaw is Nice
Dumbkit is Dumb and Nicepaw is Possibly Nice
Empresspaw stalked up to her brother. "You can't be kissing Nicepaw!"
"Why not?" the boring brown tom asked.
"You're too young to have a mate!" the pick protaginost mewed.
Dumbkit shrugged. "You're my age and you have two mates- and one of them is Moralstar- our grandfather!"
Nicepaw looked surprised. "You have two mates? What's wrong with those mots?"
"Thy'res notthing wrong with them! They can see just how perfect and beautiful I am," empresskit sed. "Moralstar and Nerdpaw love me and are going to share me caus sharing is caring! Plus, I'm AMAZING AND BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS!"
"You aren't beautiful," the Meanclan cat sad. "You are weird looking. Who has pink fur wit golden star-shaped spots and rainbow eyes?"
Empresspaw glared. "I AM BEAUTIFUL1 AND IF U DONT THINK SO YOUR A BIG MEANIE! Besides, you have a deputy named Weirdlookingface. He's weird looking1."
"NO SHE ISNTt," Nicepaw sed. " You are the meanie. I'm too nice to be friends with you. I'm going back to MeanClan. Dumbkit, if you ever want to get away from your weird sister, come and join my clan."
Empressglitter snarld. "U can't join MeanClan, Dumbkit! Dat's against the warrior code!"
Dumbkit sighed. "But I like nicepaw. She's nice. So are her Clanmates. They only attacked PerfectClan because they dn't think it's right for a clan leader to be mates with his granddaughter. I think Hopestar would let me join MeanClan if I asked him."
"How'd they find out about me and Moraltsar?"
"They have spies!" Dumbkit announced.
Empresspaw Saves PerfectClan
(A/N: Who ships DumbxNice? Are you team EmpressxMoral or EmpressxNerd?
Flamres r jut nreds nd dont half lifes. Go to the DF flamrs! Starclan deoesnt lick u!)
Empresspaw saves Prefectclan
"Oh my gosh! Wat I must find out who the spys are!" Empresspaw sed. "But first I have to tell Moralstar on u."
Dumbkit spat. "Aren't the spies more impotant?"
The pink protagonist shook her head. "You cant be mates with a MeanClan cat! It's against the code1"
Empresspaw ran to Moralsyar. "Moralstar! Moralstra! Dumbkit is breaking the warrior CODe! You half to banish him!"
Moralstar nodded. "Dumbkit, you are EXILED!"
"wHAT?" Dumbkit cried. "Don't I get a fair trial first? You didn't even ask what I did wrong!"
"Empreekit is always right, so I'm going to do everything she says," the black leeeder sad.
The kit glared at his sister. "Ure a tattletail!"
"No, dats me!" Tattletalekit mewed.
"Shut up! You have a horrible name!" Dumbkit said to Tattletalekit. "And this doesn't concern you."
Empressglitter turned to Moralstar. "Dumbkit is mates with Nicepaw! He has to leave or StarClan will punish him!"
Moralstar noded. "Dumbsmart, get out of my camp. Whatever Empresspaw says goes."
"Fine," Dumbkit growled. "I'm going to join MeanClan. At least those cats have working brains!"
"THAT'S SO MEAN!" Empresskit cried. "URE A MEANIE HEAD! STARCLAN IS MAD AT YOU NOW111111"
dUMBKIT didnt care and he walked out of the camp.
Moralstar luked at Empresspaw. "Wow, you're such a good leedaer. You will be a better leader than me."
"Thank you," Empresskit sad.
"i will make u a warrior now."
The clan started cheering for Empressglitter because they knew she was ready to be a warrior even though shed only been an apprentice for toooo dayz.""
"Empresspaw, you are so hot and awesome and perfect and you're name is now Empressglitter for your starry spots that sprakle like glitter!" Moralstar said.
"Empresspaw! Empresspaw!" the clan said.
Empresskit stod infront of her Clan. "My name is Empressglitter, and soon I will be your leader."
"Yes, oh mighty and all-powerful Empreessglitter," the clan said.
Majesticexcellency came up to her and sad. "Daughter, you are so perfect. i onyl wish I was as perfect as you."
Then Moralstar and Nerdpaw both came up to Empressglitter and kissed her on the lips. "You r my mate forever," Moralsyar sad.
"You are my mate forever and a day," Nerdpaw said.
Den Doctorwho padded up and sad. "I ahve an announcement. "I am Empressglitter's father!"
(A/N: did i right gud? I worked real hard on dis one. I tired to sepll good, but tis hard.
Yay! Dumbkit is gone for good! Or is he?
(A/N: Hello, loyal subjects! Are you ready for another chapter of this mess? No? Too bad.)
"GASP11111" gasped the clan.
"Ur my fadder? Empressglitter yelled at doctorwho.
The meddie kat nodded. "I love Majesticexcellency and we're mates!"
Empresskit was socked. "But that's against the warror code!"
Doctorwho shrugged. "idc."
"THEN YOU R BANSIHED!" the punk protagonist shouted.
"Empressmajesticglitter, you can't banish him!" Majesticexcellency cired. "I love him and he's your dad!"
Empressglitter was mad. "URE BANISHED TOO!"
Moralstar nodded. "I don't lick cats who break the warrior code. You both are banished forever!"
"Fone," Doctorwho sad. "We'll go join MeanClan with our boring dumb son."
Doctorwho and Majesticexcellency then left.
Empressglitter narrowed her eyes. "Good. Two more bad cats are gone. PerfectClan can have only perfect cats in it!"
"Thats right" Moraltsar said. "Everyone else belongs in MeanClan."
"I culd protect the warrior code better if I was leader," Empresspaw sed.
Moralstar shook his head. "You have to wait until I die." "Then Goodheart will be leader!"
"Yes," Goodheart meowed. "The deputy becomes leader after the elader dies.
"Not WHILE IM HERE!" empressglitter cried. She jumped at Goodheat and scratched her thraoght. Goodheart died infancy.
Moralstar stared at the body. "My deputy!"
"It's okay, Moralstar," Empressglitter said. "I still luv u."
"Oh, then its all good then."
The leader looked at his clan. "The knew deputy will be...Empressglitter!"
"Empresskit! Empressglitter!" the clan chaired.
"I should be leader now," Empressglitter said.
Moralstar said no. "No. I want to finish my reign first. i only have two lifes left, so it wont be long anyway."
"kk. we can be mates unti, you die," epresspaw sad.
Nerdpaw came up to them. "And I will be your mate until i die!"
Empressglitter nodded. "I'm so lucky to have two awesome mates, a future as a leader, and no evil brothers or rule-breaking parents!"
Den she felt a movie in her stomach. IT WAS KITS!1111!
"MOOOOOOO!111!" SHE cried.
(A/N: dat wus an awesum chapter, write? I mad a cliffhunger!
Oh dear...so Moralstar won't just step down and give Empressglitter the throne...I mean leadership position. And who's the father of her kits? Hm...)
(A/N: I was asked if this was based on *gulp* you-know-what. The answer is: yes, sort of. A lot of my ideas for this came from that story, but I'vr taken some ideas from other stories as well. Anyway...here is chapter 6, my loyal subjects.)
"Why are you crying? Moraltsar asked.
Empressglitter sobbed. "I'm expecting KITES!111!"
The leeder luked conffused. "That's okay. There mine, right?"
"NO! THEIR MINE!" Nerdpaw yowled.
The pink cat sobbed harrder cuz she had a secret. Neither of her mats were the kits' father. "They r Moralstar's" she lied.
"Yes! I'm going to be a father again!" Moralstar sed.
Nerdpaw was angry. He was angry. "But I want to bee the kits' father."
"But ure not."
Nerdpaw cired and run away from camp. Dictionarypaw followed him for sum reason.
Empresspaw sobbed harder as she paddded away. How culd this half happened to her? She had onyl scene Brokenstar once! How culd he be there father? But she new it couldnt be Moralstar or Nerdpaw. She just new it.
That nite she fell asleap. She dreamed. She was in the Fark Dorest. It was very dark. It was scary. Brokentsar cam up to her.
"u r going to have me kites," he sad.
Brokenstar was happy. His eyes filled wit luv. "I always wanted to bee a fadder."
Empressglitter nodded. "I always wanted to bee a mather."
"r u going to tell perfectclan that i am the father?"
"No. Im telling them that Moralstar is there father" the pink she-cat said.
Brokenstar was sad. He wanted to bee the father. But he new it would make Empressglitter happy if Moralstar was there father. "I luv you, Empresgliter."
"I luv you too," she meowd b4 she woke up.
(A/N: Stargleam has Hawkfrost. Empressglitter has Brokenstar. How nice is it that these evil toms suddenly turn good?)
(A/N: Once I started writing this with correct grammar and then went back and made the errors, this got a lot easier. It is so hard to write errors on purpose. This is much harder than I thought it would be. Oh...if anyone wanted to do a repost and make mean comments, you have my permission. Now onto the story, my lovely subjects...
Now eye tired 2 speel reel gud dis tim! Falmers go 2 heck!)
"Wake up, Empressglitter" Moralstar sad.
"Wat is it?"
The leader pawsed. "It's time 2 go 2 the gathering."
The pink cat was instantly awake. "Oh gud! Then we can tell the other clans that I am going to have ur kits!"
Nerdpaw cam in the den. "I came bak. I still luv u, Empresspaw. We can still be mats."
"And I'll still be ur mat to" Moraltaar said.
Empressglitter smiled. Both of her maes still luved her and neither of them new Brokenstar was the fadder of her kites!
She runned 2 the gathering. She climbed on the High Tree. "Cats of Meanclan, I am Perfectclan's new deputy!" she announcered.
"GASP!" gasped Meanclan cast.
Hopestar didnt look surprised. "I alredy new that cuz I have pies."
"Who r ur pies?" Empressglitter demanded.
"They r…NICEPAW AND EVILPAW!"
The pink cat was angry. How culd dey spy on her?
Hopestar had more knews. "And this past moon tree cats from Perfectclan half joined Meanclan. They are Majesticexcellency, Doctorwho, and Dumbpaw."
"How dare they!" Empresspaw shoutted. "Dont u know what they did?"
"Yeah. They r smart," Hopestar sad.
Empressglitter was sad. How could her family do dis 2 her? It mad her even more sad cuz she could see Dumbpaw and Nicepaw sitting next to each other and dey were kissing.
Then…out of the bushes…cam…Brokenstar!
(A/N: Brokenstar's alive! It's just like Hawkfrost in Starkit's Prophecy! Oh, I was asked why I chose Brokenstar. The answer: because I like him! I just think he's a great villain.)
(A/N: Isn't this story awful? Poor Brokenstar! :( Anyway, I've got up through Chapter 14 written, so I'll be able to post these pretty quickly. I don't know how long this story will actually be. I'm thinking around 20-ish chapters. Now on with the story!
Tank u 4 teh nice reveiws! Dey mak me so happi!)
"I am teh true father of Empressglitter's kites!" Brokenstar sed.
Moraltsar gaped. "Is dis true?" he asked.
Empresspaw noded. "It is. He is my kits' fadder."
"Noooo!" Nerdpaw cryed. He leeped at Brkoenstar and scratched his noose. He diied.
"Brokne-baby!" Empressglitter cried. "How can u be dead?"
Hopstar didnt car aboot Empressglitter, so he took Meanclan home.
Empresspaw waked bak 2 Perfectclan sadly. Her life wus so horrible!
"Moralstar" he meowed. "I have 2 be leader know. Step down!"
"I cant" the leader sad. "I don't want 2 bee a warrior agin."
Empressglitter wus angry. She deserved to be leeder! Her 1 true luv had just ded! "Mak me leader! Starclan wants me 2 be the leader!"
"You will be leeder one day, but dat day is not 2day" Moralstar sad.
"Den u are not my mat anymore!" Empresskit yowled. She stalked away form him.
Nerdpaw smiled. "u r still my mat right?"
Empresspaw nodded. " r my only make."
"Den I will be the kites' father!"
"Oak. But now I have to work on my plan 2 becom leeder of Perfectclan," she sed.
Then…THERE WAS PIANO!
(A/N: dun Dun DUN! A piano! JK...it's pain. Flame away!)
(A/N: Hey, y'all! I've got another fabulous installment of The Glittering Empress for you to read and hate, but first I thought I'd tell you that I'm going to call my fans my subjects from now on. I am an empress, after all. :) )
Empressglitter felt piano in her stomach. She fell ofer on her side. Her tummy opened up and it HURT!
Suddenly…Nicepaw and EVILPAW!
"Noooo!" Empresspaw cryed, but she was 2 week 2 move.
Nicepaw glared at the pick kat. "I hope u dye!" she hissed, rising a paw 2 scratch her.
Evilpaw den leaped at his sister and knocked her over. "Dat is meen, Nicepaw! You can't hurt a she-kat when there giving berth!"
Nicepaw scratched her brother. "Empressglitter nd her kites must die!"
Empresskit wus 2 hurt 2 get away from the fighting cats. Then her kits were born. Their were three of them.
"Wut do you want 2 name them?" Evilpaw esked.
"Um…I will name the purple one Redkit, the lite blue 1 Blackkit, and the orange one Whitekit" she sad.
Evilpaw nodded. "Those r nice names."
Den…Nicepaw stol Redkit! She grabbed him and run away! "Hahahaha!" she laffed as she ran.
"Sissy com back!" Evilpaw cryed, chasing after her. "That wasnt nice!"
Then Brokenstar padded up to Empressglitter. "Why did Nicepaw steal 1 of my babies?"
(A/N: Why u no flame me? Is me gud at righting? Why r Empressstar's kits named after rong colors?)
(A/N: Who wants another chapter of a stupid trollfic? You do! Oh, and because I've been told to advertise for people: please read Breaking Boundaries by A Castle of Glass and Endless Leaf-bare,Beyond Oblivion, and Turn Away by Guestpersonanonymous. I have read these stories and loved them, and I believe these stories deserve more recognition. Give them a chance! :)
Know on wit teh stori! Its tim 4 de kites 2 bee born!)
"We must get Redkit back!" Brokentsar sed.
Den the rest of Perfectclan showed up. "We'll save him!"
Moralstar and Firestrom and Ashfone nd Hopvegetable and Sunmuffin nd Vitaminheart and Tacobreath all run after Nicepaw. Empresskit and Brokenstar ran after them. Dey had 2 save Redkit!
They got 2 the Meanclan camp, but Nicepaw wus nowhere 2 bee fund.
"Hopestar!" Brokenstar cryed.
"Wut?" the leader sad.
"Wheres me son?"
Hopstar shrugged. "Idk."
Brokenstar wus mad. "Nicepaw stole my babi! We're here 2 recluse him!"
"Well u'll have 2 fight four him!
"I'll do it!" Whitekit shrieked. She leeped at a kat and scratched him. Den she leaped at another cat ad killed her. Then she attacked a ginger kween who threw her 2 the ground.
"Ow!" the tik cried. "Mommy! Daddy! Help me!"
Bronekstar grabbed Whitekit and ran off.
The ginger queen stod in front of the nursery. "u will never see ur presious Redkit agan" she snarled.
Empressglitter glared at the queen. "It is not nick to steel kits! Give him back!"
"Never!" the he-cat spat.
Then Dumbpaw waked up the ginger queen nd stood beside her. "Tansystarheart is write. Redkit will half a better life here in MeanClan than he ever wud have had in PerfectClan. I'm going 2 raise him as me sun!"
The New Leader
(A/N: I was told I'm not cut-out at writing Trollfics. Believe me, I know. This is much harder than I thought it would be. I have a new respect for troll writers.)
The Knew leader
Empressglitter stromed bak 2 camp. How culd Meanclan just steal her kit lick that? NicePaw and Tansyhert were the biggest meanies EVER!
Whitkit padded up 2 her moter. "Mama I want me brother bak!"
"He will come back 2 us someday" Empressglitter mewed. "WE HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT"
"Yes" Brockenstar sad. "My son will be oka."
Empresspaw narrowed her eyes. "I ned 2 mak a plan."
"Whut r u going 2 do?" Brokentsar asked.
"I must becom the leeder of Perfectclan."
Moralstar interuped the he-cat. "You must wait until I dye!"
The pick cat shok her hed. "No. My sun is gone. I must be leader now."
"You will not bee teh leader 4 as long as Im alive!" the leader sed.
"THEN DIE!" Brokenstar screeched. He leaped at Moralstra nd sliced his side. The blak mot died.
"He's dead!" Whitekit meowed. "Now u can bee the leader Mommy!"
Empressglitter nodded. "I will go 2 the Shinyrock and get my 9 lifes from Starclan. Brokenstar, you will bee my depudy."
"Wut will u do after u get ur nien lifes?" the tom asked.
"I will destroy Meanclan for being mean!" Den she left the camp.
"Evilpaw what are you doing here?" Empressglitter qestioned.
The red tom luked at her. "I fel bad because my sister stol ur son. Its just that Meanclan feel that u'll be a bad leader. Hopestar mad Nicepaw and I pie on u, and we think u're insane."
"THATS SO MEAN!" Empresspaw cryed.
Evilpaw luked down at the ground. "I know, but…I love you. Will…you be…my MAT?"
The Travel to Shinyrock
(A/N: Good afternoon, subjects. Empress Tansy here with a rather disappointing announcement. Packing to leave college for home is taking longer than I expected, so this is all you're getting from me today. I don't have time to write a new episode of Win a Date with Nightcloud. I should be back on FF by Sunday, Monday at the latest. So until then, IF I find any time at all to get, it will only be a chapter of this.)
The Travel 2 Shinirok
"Well" Evilpaw asked. "I will bee a better mat dan Moralstar or Nerdpaw or Brockenstar."
"Moraltsar and I broke up" Empressglitter mewed. "But I still luv Nerdpaw nd Brokenstar."
The Meanclan cat luked sad. "But I luv u!"
Empresspaw felt bad. "Im sorry. I was being mean. I can love u 2!"
"So ou will bee my mate?"
Evilpaw bounced happily. "Yay! Oh…I shuld probably mention Hopstar is planing a revolution and is going 2 half u overthrown if u becom leeder. Dumbpaw and Nicepaw r going 2 lead the fite."
"Oh NO!" Empressglitter shouted. "Then I need 2 get me nine lifes quick! Lets go 2 Shinyrock!"
They ran and run and ran until there paws hurt. Finally dey got 2 the Shinyrock. It was very shiny. It made Empressglitter's rainbow eyes sprakle. They sparkled lick sparkling glitter dat sparkles.
Evilpaw pressed his fac in2 Empressglitter's fur. "Its beautyful but not as beautyful or prefect as u."
"I am the most beautyful and perfect kat ever aren't I?" Empresskit agreed. "Starclan better give me my lifes fast so I can prepare Perfectclan 4 the fight wit MeanClan! I still have 2 save me son form that evil Pansyheart…"
"Then get ur lives" Evilpaw said. "Ill be hear when u woke up."
The Nine Lives
(A/N: I'm back! Yay!)
The Nien Lives
Empressglitter closet her eyes. She opened hre eyes. Their wer stars! Sparkly tsars! Den Bluestar showd up! And so died Firstar!
"OMG, ure Bullstar and Firestar!" Empresspaw sad.
"Yes we r" Bluestar meowed. "r u redy 2 get your nine lives? u have 2 defeet Meanclan Empressglitter. We can't let clans think its okay to steal kites!"
Empressglitter nodded. "Then give me me nine lifes now! Bluestar gave her the fist life. "I give u the life of prefection. Use it 2 be perfect." The life hurt! It hurt Empressglitter. She didnt now if she culd take it 8 more times!
Firstar gave her the next life. "I give u the life of good and moralness. Use it 2 bee good and moral." It hurt lick lightning!
Den Yellowfang, Leafpool, Crookedtsar, Tallstar, Mististar, Whitetale, and Stargleam gave her lifes. They all hert! It made Empressglitter feel lick jello.
Bluestar then finished teh ceremony. "u will be known as Empressstar from now on. Now that u r the leader u must overthrow Hopestar and unite perfectclan and meanClan. u will have to destroy Nicepaw, dumbpaw, and Tinsyheart cause they r bad and mean cats. Can u do this?"
"Yes I can! Death to my mean brother! Death to mean Nicepaw! Death to mean Tansyheart!" Empressstar cried. "I will untie the clans and rain as Empressstar, leaeer of EmpireClan!"
"Empressstar! Empressstar!" the Starclan cats cheered.
(Falme away! Eye right gud!)
The Return to PerfectClan
(A/N: Dang, this is my last pre-written chapter. I need to start writing more...)
Teh Return 2 PerfetCcan
Empressstar woke up.
"Did u get ur nein lifes" Evilpaw asked.
The pick cat noded. "I did. Bluetsar told me I must overthrew Hopstar and untie our 2 Clanns. We must return 2 perfectclan and plan for war!"
Evilnice nodded. "Lets hurry"
Dey run nd ran and run until they got 2 camp.
"Cats I half an announcement" Empressstar cryed.
"Wat is it leeder?" everyone asked.
Teh she-kat glared at them. "We must overthrow Hopetsar, destroy Dumbpaw, Nicepaw, and Tansyheart, and safe Redkit!"
"Well do it!" they shoutted.
Empressstar den luked at Evilpaw. "Evilpaw is joining Prefectclan cuz I sad so and he has 2 do what I say. He is me new mate too and I declare that his warrior nam will bee Evilisactuallynice."
"Yay! Good 4 u Evilisactuallynice!" the Clan cheered.
The Brokenstar was sad cause he felt like Empressglitter wus cheeting on him. He didnt agree to share her becuz he didn't care about sharing. He wasn't actually nice. Sadly he ran away from Perfectclan 2 go back to the Dark Forest wear he belonged.
"Daddy stay here" Whitkite cried but her father wus gone.
Empressstar raised her head hihe. "Now let's prepare 4 war!"
(A/N: Did i right gud? I tired reall herd dis chatper. Ni falmeres plez!)
The First Fight
(A/N: I wrote three chapters of this yesterday! I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. By the way...didn't Empressstar have three kits? Why have only Redkit and Whitekit been mentioned? Where's this third kit?
Oh, and thank you Lilacstream99 for that flame! It's the best one I've gotten!)
no falmres! falmers r nreds! I is very sramt! I is not a troll!)
The Fist Fite
"I deklare Evilisactuallynice is teh new depuuty of Perfectclan!" Empressstar yowled.
Evilisactuallynice bowwed his hed. "Tank u. I promise 2 bee a gud deputy for perfectClan. I will help fight 4 Empressstar so he can untie the 2 clans."
"Yay" Whitekite cheered. "My dadDdy is teh depudy!"
But b4 some1 culd remind the kite Brockentsar was actually her fadder Meanclan attaked!
"We will capture Whitkit!" Hopstar snarled as he plunged in2 teh camp.
"Never!" Empressstar spat swiping teh ugly tome wit her paw.
Dumbpaw ran over to his sitter. "u have no rite 2 raise her! Tansyheart and I will raise Whitekit along wit Readkite!"
"u're so mean 2 me Dumbpaw!" the pick leader cryed.
"Im a warrior now!" the boring brown tim growled hitting his sister wit a paw. "Im Dumbissmart now. And Nicepaw has been namd Niceisactuallyevil and she's expecting me kites!"
Empressglitter recolied in horror. "How cud u half kits with an evil kat?"
Dumbissmart scratched teh she-kats sid. "I luv her. She and I will help meanclan defeet perfectClan and restor order 2 the frost!"
The pink he-cat soodenly wus very angry. "u meanClan cats r 2 mean! Frist Hopstar attacks my Clan then Niceisactuallyevil steals Redkite den Tansyheart won't let me half him bak and know u're trying to steel me daughter and get rid of my!"
"u're a horrible leeder!" Dumbissmart grwoled striking her sid.
"I AM NOT!" Den she flipped him over and scrachted his belly. His eyes widdened and he strugled 2 his feet fleaing the camp.
"I'll bee back!" he cried as he ran of.
Hopetsar saw dat Dumbissmart left and he stopped fighting. "u may have one this fight but we wil retrun. Meanclan will not rest until u r overthrewn!"
But then Empresspaw realzed something bad. It wus very bad 2 relize atdhis moment. he wus expecting Evilisactuallynices kits!
(A/N: Oh no! More kits! Don't they realize they're going to be born in the middle of a war?
(A/N: I know you guys suggested names, but I named the kits before you did! And I chose these names on purpose (there is an important reason for the names). Anyway, y'all seem to really like this story. I have no idea why. Sometimes I wonder why I'm even writing this thing.)
"How can I bee expecting kites at a tim lick this?" Empresskit whaled.
Evilisactuallynice srugged. "I dont now but I'll bee a gud father. I primose."
"Yay! I'm gonna 2 have baby borthers and sitters" Whitkit meowwed.
The leeder narrowed he eyes. "I'm going 2 talk 2 Doctorwho. Evilisactuallynice strat plnning our next batel. We half 2 attak Meanclan be4 dey attack us."
"Yes me luv" the depputy meowed.
Empressstar padded 2 Doctorwho's den. "Doctorwho I'm prengant!" Den she rememembered she had banished him 4 having kites and braking teh Warrior Cod.
My dad tinks he can just brake the warior code and get away wit it? Not under me control! I gess I'll just half the kits on my won den.
Seh went 2 the forst and had the kites. Their were 2 of them. One wus orange. She namd him Firekit. One wus a drak brown taby. She named him Tigerkit.
"I new u were going 2 have mor kites" she groled at Empresspaw.
The pinck he-cat was confused. "How did u now?"
"cause Im still a spy! And now I'm goin 2 take dese kits and rise them alongside mine in meanCla" then Niceisactuallyevil grabed teh kits and ran of.
(A/N: Did somebody turn into a cow? Does Empressstar regret sending her parents away? Are Firekit and Tigerkit going to be good and moral or evil? So many questions...
Fighting for the Kits
(A/N: So a few days after finishing the story- or rather, thinking I had finished the story- I realized I had forgotten to post this chapter. Oops. The next chapter begins with talking about how a certain character is dead, but you never got to read the actual death. *Tansy laughs nervously* Sometimes I'm a bit scatter brained.)
Figting 4 the Kites
"Perfectclan we half 2 attack now!111" Empressstar cryed as she went in2 teh camp. "I had me kits and Niceisactuallyevil STOLE THEM!11!"
"Oh no!" Evilisactuallynice cried. "My sitter stoled my kits! WE HALF 2 GET DEM BACK111111!"
The leadre noded. "Meanclan has gon 2o far dis time. We have 2 destroy them ounce and 4 all."
The depudy luked at the perfectClan cats. "Firstorm, Wildfame, Ashfone, Sunmuffin, Blueberry, AND Hopevegetable- lets GO!"
The patrol of kats ran and run and ran until dey got 2 Meanclan's camp.
Whitkit stromed into teh camp fist. "u stole my brothers1!" she cried as she lunched herself at Hopstar.
"Oh no!" the Meanclan leader cryed. "How'd u get hear so fast? We were completely unprepareed!1111!"
Empressglitter glared at him. "ur warrior stole tree of me sons. kNow we will destroy u!"
Dumbissmart, Niceisactuallyevil, and Tansyheart stud in front of teh nursery. "u will never take these kit alife!" Dumbissmart ANNOUNCED.
"Dey r mine and I want them bak!1" Empresskit growled. "They need 2 comee home and ruule perfectClan wit MEEEEE!"
"They will half a better live here!" her brodder argued. "They can half a nomral life wit Tansyheart and Niceisactuallyevil and me."
"THEY R MY KITES AND U WILL die!" Empressstar yowled and leeped at her brother. She scratched his throte and he dieded.
Den a yowl cam from teh center of camp. Whitekite had killed Hopestar! Empressstar then leapd at Niceisactuallyevil and hit her bellly. The white evil he-cat died. Empresspaw had won! Perfectclan had defeeted meanClan!
"Cats from both Clans" the pink she-cat said. "We are now one Clan, and I am the leader. We are now EMPIRECLAN!"
(A/N: We're almost at the end of this. Only one more chapter and an epilogue. We're almost done with this horrible tale.)
"NOOOO!" Dumbissmart cryed staring at Niceisactuallyevil's body. "u killded my mat! How dar u kill her!"
Empresstar smilled. "She wus evil. She stoled my kites,so I stealed her live. Ive won brother. It's ofer."
Dumbissmart glared at teh she-kat. "I've still got tree of ur kits and u'll never get dem bak. Tansyhart and I will fite 2 keep them as far way form u as possible."
"I am teh leeder of Empireclan!" Empresskit snrarled. "I demand u give me me kits!"
"NEVER!" teh boring brown mot growled.
The pick he-cat then turned 2 face her warrriors. "Wildflam and Firestom and Sunmuffin and Ashfone and Blueberry and Tacobreath- get me kites!"
The warriors den stromed inw the nersery where they encontered a furoscious monster. A ginger qeen foght lick a lion and chassed the former perfectClan warriors out off her den. Tinsyheart leeped at Blubarry and landed on the he-cats bak digging her claws in2 Blueberrys shoulders. Teh queen's own kits Star nd Mallow, fught alongside they're muther as well. They lunched demselfes at Firstorm and fought wit as much strenth as there mother. The Redkit and Firekit and Tuggerkit cam out of the nersery.
(A/N: Here we are at the exciting climax of the story. What will happen? Will Empressstar win the fight and save EmpireClan?)
Redkite and Firkit nd Tiggerkit joined teh fite helpping Tinsyheart fite 2 keep dem.
Empressstar culd do nuthing mor than stand nd wotch in shok as her kits fite aginst her armi. "Ho cud u do dis 2 me? she whailed.
Dumbissmart laughed. "Because they think you're insane and should not be a leader or a mother. Tansyheart is sane and she loves those kits. She's a much better mother and leader than you'll ever be!"
"u're EVIL!11!1!11" Empresspaw reelized. "U TUNRED MYE KITES AGANST ME!1111111"
"I did, but I'm not evil. You are a tyrant and a Mary-sue. You have too many mates, one of which is our grandfather, and one of the others is dead!" her brother meowed. "You don't even look like a normal cat. Cats can't have pink fur with golden stars or rainbow eyes. You don't deserve to be leader, and you especially do not get to unite the two Clans and name the new Clan after yourself!"
Empressstar cud not tak it animor. She leeped at he brodder ready to kill him ounce and 4 all. But Tansyheart and Star and Mallow and Redkit and Firekit and Tigerkit and Doctorwho all rushed to defend Dumbissmart. Efen Majesticexcellency wo had ounce nelgected her sun cam in his defense know. Den in a suprising turn in events Ashfone and Blueberry and Firestrom and Wodflame and Sunmuffin and Tacobreathe all joined in the fite aainst Empressstar as weel.
It was Empressglitter and Whitkite aganst everione else. Dey culd nut fight them all. Dumbissmart finallly pined his sitter to the grund glaring down at her. "You see, sister, this is a trollfic, which means you are too perfect, have too many mates, and everyone is supposed to love you. Unfortunately, the author has decided to twist the ending and not make you a hero. I am the real hero. You are going to die, and the Clans will be better off without you!"
"u cant do DIS 2 ME!1111!" Empressssstar cryed.
Dumbissmart bent don and bit her throte a fatal blow. "I just did," he murmured as she died. "EmpireClan is no more."
(A/N: I'll put the epilogue up in a moment.)
(A/N: Yes, I put this up a couple days ago. I had to delete the last few chapters than then put them up again because I forgot to post Chapter 17. So yeah...go back and read it. It should clear any confusion caused by Chapter 18. Sorry.)
After Dumbissmart killed Empressstar, he separated the two Clans again, giving them new normal names- PerfectClan became OakClan and MeanClan became PineClan. He then became the leader of OakClan, taking the name 'Smartstar' because StarClan decided to be kind to him. Tansyheart was named deputy of OakClan. Weirdlookingface became leader of PineClan, taking the name Brownstar since she was a brown tabby.
Whitekit, Redkit, Firekit, and Tigerkit grew up having happy, normal lives in OakClan. Redkit's purple fur was dyed red so he looked like a normal cat. Whitekit was renamed Sunkit because of her light orange fur. Firekit turned out to be a very good and moral cat, and would eventually succeed Tansystar as leader. Tigerkit almost became evil, but it turned out Empressstar's spirit had been training him and was trying to turn him against his Clan in a not very well thought out plan of revenge. Tigerkit would eventually choose good over evil and destroy his mother's spirit.
Empressstar's third kit from her first litter, the light blue kit named Blackkit, returned to OakClan. He was horribly confused as to why he had disappeared. He was renamed Bluekit.
A ginger she-cat with deep green eyes stared at her computer screen, laughing like an evil maniac. She had written a weird trollfic, making herself both the protagonist of the story and the hero. She was both Empressstar and Tansyheart. She was Empress Tansy, and she ruled both the living Clans and StarClan with her evil, yet sweet personality. Stepping away from her computer, she took a bow and flashed one last sinister grin at the screen. The end.