The sky was dark with moonhigh night. The blackness stretched as far as the eye could see, but the stars of Silverpelt blazed so brightly. It was as if every StarClan warrior was awake.
The cats of the four Clans were gathering in the centers of their camps. The medicine cats had received an omen from their ancestors. Tonight would be a night to remember. Elders would pass down the stories to troublesome apprentices and queens would quiet their kits with fables of this night.
A reddish-brown tabby curled his bushy tail around his two unhatched kits as he and his Clanmates waited for Jayfeather's omen to appear to them all. Anticipation surged in the Clan as unknown excitement clung to their whiskers.
"Soon," the old tabby mewed to the Clan. "Any moment now," his blind eyes were trained on the darkly bright sky.
"Do you think Jayfeather's growing musty in the head?" One of the apprentices whispered.
Suddenly the night sky jumped from its resting place, and the cats sitting on the earth jumped to their paws. All the warriors of StarClan yowled with their whistling battle cries and raced across Silverpelt with the speed of lightning.
The Clan cats gasped with amazement.
The stars streaked across their black territory. The running warriors flew above their heads with grappling speed. Each Clan cat swore they heard them whispering to them from right above their ears.
"Honeyfern?" Berrynose gasped.
"Runningwind?" The old dusky elder, Mousefur, croaked.
"Hollyleaf!" The blind tomcat Jayfeather mewed in amazement, his ears twitching wildly. "Squirrelstar!"
"Handsomehandsome!" Foxleap cried with joy.
Suddenly the biggest, brightest comet curved from its path and scathed the sky with its fiery blue tail. It flew low to the earth and grazed the top of the forest's trees. It burst with a new speed leaving a shower of glittering particles showering upon the ThunderClan camp.
The cats cheered and jumped around catching the shattered bits of starlight in their paws. One of the apprentices stuck out their tongues.
"Tastes like newleaf!" They mewed.
Foxleap purred as the starlight sprinkled his fur from red to silver. He looked down at the two eggs tucked between his paws. The purple one glittered as always and shimmered like the moon on the lake as the stardust glazed its outer shell. The dark egg repelled the starlight. The bits fluttered onto its shell and slid off like rain on stone.
Then suddenly the eggs began to glow with their own light. The ThunderClan cats stopped and turned towards the queen and his eggs.
"It's happening!" Jayfeather meowed.
Foxleap stepped back as the purple egg cracked open. Lavender light seeped through the fractures. Then it burst open. The bits of shell shattered and flew out in all directions.
A small kit was curled up where the egg had once sat.
"Handsomehandsome?" The cats gasped.
"No," Foxleap shook his head.
The kit indeed looked like his father. Except his fur was orange and his paws, belly, chest, undertail, muzzle, and ears were all dark purple. Its eyes were shut but it felt as if its eyes were glowing with soft violet flames.
Foxleap ran towards the mewling kit and began to lick it furiously. He laid out on his side and let the tiny tomkit suckle.
"What about the other?" Gaystripe pointed out.
The dark gray-brown egg slowly began to tremble. A crack ran up from the bottom and black swallowing light seeped out from the fractures. Then the shell began to peel away like the thin bark of a birch tree.
A small dark brown tabby cried feebly. It flexed its long claws.
"Tigerstar!" The warriors screamed.
"Shut up!" Foxleap hissed. "This is not Tigerstar!"
He reached out and pulled the she-kit in with a paw. He soothed its agitation with comforting licks.
"What will you name them?" Ferncloud asked.
"Hmmm..." The nursing queen looked at his two kits in turn. "Cometkit," he said to the orange-purple tom.
"How about Squirrelkit for the she-kit?" Cherrypaw suggested. "Her tail is in a tight swirl like a squirrel's tail!"
Foxleap nodded, but then a tiny object in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned his head and saw a tiny brown empty snail shell. It looked just like his kit's tail.
"Snailkit," he decided. "Cometkit and Snailkit."
The two kits mewed as their names were announced.
"You'll grow up to be just like your mother," Ferncloud cooed to them.
"And you'll make your father proud," Sandstorm purred.
"Yes, you will," Foxleap nuzzled his son and daughter affectionately.
The stars stopped blazing across the sky as the sun began to rise. The milky light of dawn cast its light upon the two kits.
From StarClan, Handsomehansome purred, "Cometkit, Snailkit, you have already made me proud."
Birchstar- Pale brown tabby tom, green eyes
Brightheart- White she-cat with ginger patches, large scar over left eye
Jayfeather- Silver tabby tom, blind blue eyes
Gaystripe- Long-furred gray tom, yellow eyes
Dustpelt- Dusky dark brown tabby tom, amber eyes, formally a rogue
Briarlight- Dark brown she-cat, paralyzed back legs
Blossomfall- Tortoiseshell she-cat with white flecks
Buried-Alive-Bumblestripe- Pale tabby tom, buried alive under floor of camp
Dovewing- Pale gray she-cat, blue eyes
Cherrypaw- Ginger she-cat, prone to shooting kit-lasers from her birthing canal
Molepaw- Brown tom, very boring
Lilypaw- Brown tabby she-cat
Seedpaw- Pale ginger she-cat
Foxleap- Reddish brown tabby tom, amber eyes (Father of Handsomehandsome's kits: Cometkit- Orange-and-purple tom with white pupiled eyes, Snailkit- Dark brown tabby she-cat with a tight-curled tail like a snail's shell)
Ferncloud- Gray dappled she-cat, pale green eyes (Mother of Dustpelt's Kits: [Censored because there is waaaaaay too many kits to list here])
Daisy- Long-furred cream she-cat, formally a Horseplace loner
Mousefur- Dusky brown she-cat, beautiful eyes the color of sunlit ice
Purdy- Plump gray tabby tom, formally a kittypet rogue
Mistystar- Blue-gray she-cat, blue eyes
Reedwhisker- Black tom, blue eyes
Willowshine- Gray mottled tabby she-cat, pale green eyes
Stonefur- Extra large hot dog with lightly toasted bun, mustard, ketchup, extra relish, and a cola on the side, blue eyes
Sneezefart- Lanky tomcat with a nose that never stops sneezing
Graymist- Pale gray tabby she-cat, blue eyes
Icewing- White she-cat, blue eyes
Minnowtail- Dark gray she-cat, green eyes
Pebblefoot- Mottled gray tom, green eyes
Mallownose- Light brown tabby tom, green eyes
Robinwing- Tortoiseshell she-cat-tom
Beetlewhisker- Brown-and-white tabby tom, purple iridescent eyes
Petalfur- Dark gray she-cat, green eyes
Grasspelt- Light brown tabby tom, green eyes
Hollowpaw- Dark brown tabby tom
Troutpaw- Pale gray tabby she-cat
Mossypaw- Brown-and-white she-cat
Rushpaw- Light brown tabby tom
Duskfur- Brown tabby she-cat
Mosspelt- Tortoiseshell she-cat
Dapplenose- Mottled gray she-cat
Pouncetail- Ginger-and-white tom
Onestar- Pale ginger tabby tom, unbalanced and lopsided due to only one whisker
Grumpycat- Cream-and-brown she-cat, blue eyes, formally a wedding officiant, internet meme, and movie star
Kestrelflight- Mottled gray tom
Crowfeather- Dark gray tom, blue eyes, always eats catnip
Nightcloud- Dark gray she-cat
Owlwhisker- Light brown tabby she-cat
Gorsetail- Pale gray-and-white she-cat
Weaselfur- Brown tom
Harespring- Brown-and-white tom
Leaftail- Brown tabby tom
Heathertail- Pale brown tabby she-cat, ginormous blue eyes that are the size of the moon- literally
Breezepelt- Pile of black ashes in the underground tunnels, amber eyes
Sedgewhisker- Light brown tabby she-cat
Swallowtail- Dark gray she-cat
Sunstrike- Fiery ball of fire she-cat
Doesn'tcarepaw- A list of unimportant WindClan apprentices
Lol, there's almost never any WindClan queens- Low birthrate much?
Deadfoot- Black tom back from the dead
Tawnystar- Tawny she-cat, green eyes, rudely mistaken as a tortoiseshell way too many times
Smokefoot- Gray-black tom
Havenheart- Black-and-white she-cat, amber eyes, formally of RiverClan
Coppertail- Pale brown she-cat, golden eyes
Stormcloud- Gray tabby tom, formally a kittypet
Minty- White-and-black she-cat, blue eyes
Benny- Unfaithful kittypet
Jessy- Loner kittypet thinking about joining New ShadowClan
Snowbird- White she-cat, green eyes (Mother of Smokefoot's kits: Reedkit- Black tabby tom with green eyes, Whitekit- White she-cat with blue eyes)
Chapter Two of this Sequel to Tom
It had been seven days since the night of the Starfall as Jayfeather called it.
It had been seven days since Cometkit and Snailkit hatched from their eggs.
Seven days had passed.
"That little tabby sure is suspicious," one of the senior warriors muttered as she dropped her prey off at the fresh-kill pile.
"If it weren't for her curled tail," one of the tomcats mumbled. "I'd swear she's Tigerstar's spawn."
"If that kit has amber eyes then bite my tail and pull my whiskers!" One of the she-cat whispered with narrowed eyes.
Gossip floated around camp about Snailkit. Was she the new copy of an evil feline from the bloody past of the Clans? The dark light-swallowing aura around her- the aura that Cinderheart, Dovewing, and Jayfeather only felt- could that be an omen that only the reincarnated cats sensed?
Foxleap, however, refused to believe the rumors and the mumbled suspicions. In fact, he had every right to not even listen to them.
Dovewing loped over to the tabby queen with half moon eyes. "How are the kits?" she asked.
"Oh, Cometkit is just a little wily rascal!" He laughed. "I can't imagine what a troublemaker he'll be when his eyes and ears open."
"Uh-huh," Dovewing nodded with an uninterested gleam in her color-confused eyes. "How about Snailkit? Is she biting too hard when she nurses? Does she bully her brother for room and milk?"
"No," Foxleap glared at her with his amber eyes. "In fact, Snailkit is the prime example of a perfect kit, and Cometkit is the one that bullies his littermate and bites down too hard on my-"
"Is there a problem here?" Birchstar padded over to the two queens.
"Yes, there is, Birchstar," Foxleap nodded vigorously. "I don't know why, but my own Clanmates don't trust my daughter who, may I add, can't even see yet."
Dovewing muttered to herself and padded away to where Cinderheart, Sorreltail, and Obsidianwing were whispering with narrowed eyes about the red queen and his newly hatched kits. Then Berrynose waltzed over and being the fox-heart he was and blurted out what the whole Clan was thinking.
"She looks just like Tigerstar!" He pointed a claw at the innocent kit.
"Well, I think she looks more like Bramblestar!" Foxleap snapped.
Jayfeather hissed at the cats from the entrance of his den. "Shush!" He growled. "Snailkit is not Bramblestar nor Tigerstar. She is very much her own cat."
"See?" Foxleap grinned at all of the cats who accused her kit. "She is Snailkit and Snailkit alone."
"But Cometkit, not so much," Jayfeather added, though no cat heard him.
And in the depths of the orange-and-purple tomkit's mind, he grinned an evil grin.
Why does the Clan blame me? Snailkit asked her brother telepathically.
I do not know. Do not worry though. They will open their ignorant eyes and wish for the worst to become our best. He snickered in his mind.
Please, stop scaring me. She cried.
Do not be such a mouse-heart! You are taking the fun out of our life. He growled.
What fun? We are seven days old! She mewed silently.
Cometkit snapped at his sister through their psychic link. You perhaps are seven days old. I, however, was born many seasons ago. My first day on the earth was so long ago these Clan cats cannot even fathom.
True, but please be nicer once our eyes open and our voices become heard. She sighed.
"They sure are quiet kits," Birchstar said to Foxleap as he noticed the eery silence of the young, tiny kittens. "Dovewing and What'sherface were always mewling day and night!"
What idiotic excuses for cats! Cometkit howled with laughter.
Chapter Three of the Sequel to Tom
"Come forth, Sister!" The handsome kit meowed with his shrilly, young voice. "Onward to the outside world!"
He stood at the entrance of the nursery, daring to step paw into the unknown lands the older cats called camp. Foxleap rolled his eyes and called his son back to the nest.
"Cometkit, it's time for your nap," he said. "Afterwards we'll have you and Snailkit play in the elders' den."
"Sounds exquisite, Mother," the tomkit purred. "However, I must decline your offer. The Clan must observe my beauty before departing for their last hunting patrols prior to sunhigh."
"Cometkit, just come take a nap," Snailkit mewed to her brother.
"If I must!" He sighed dramatically, padding over to the nest and climbing in between Foxleap and Snailkit. "I will awake as an enlightened warrior!"
"Not for four more moons," Foxleap nuzzled him. "You two didn't inherit your father's rapid aging. He was already a warrior at your age."
"I wish we met him," Snailkit sighed, blinking her amber eyes sadly.
"I wish he were still here," their mother-father meowed. "He didn't die in vain. In fact, he died for you two. He took a path to StarClan because he did what destiny wanted him to do."
"Mother," Cometkit looked up at him with his white-pupiled eyes. "Am I similar to Handsomehandsome?"
Foxleap tilted his head. "Well, I must say you certainly look like him. You have a very unique way of thinking. Both of you do."
It seems that Mother is on to us. Cometkit thought worriedly to Snailkit.
No. He means that you are too smart for your age. Snailkit thought back to him.
"Hey," Foxleap mewed. "Hey," he said again. "You two need to take your nap now. Come on, kits. Stop staring at each other and go to sleep."
"Wait!" The brown tabby looked up. "I have a question! Who do I look like?"
Foxleap bit his lip. As newborn kits the other ThunderClan cats speculated that she was Tigerstar's spawn. In fact, they continued to exchange hoarse gossip under their breaths and they gawked about her eyes while on patrol.
"I heard Sorreltail say to the Poppyfrost statue that I look like Tigerstar," Snailkit said. "Was Tigerstar bad?"
Her mother shook his head. "You do not look like Tigerstar," he said sternly without mentioning exactly who Tigerstar truly was. "Your fur is long like your great-grandpaw Whitestorm. Your brown fur is dark like your grandpaw Dustpelt's and your beautiful tabby stripes come your other grandpaw Jayfeather. And those beautiful amber eyes come straight from your mother- me!"
Snailkit giggled happily. Her brother looked like their father, but she looks like many, many cats!
A Lovely Filler Chapter
Chapter Four of this Sequel to Tom
"There is surely something wrong with that cat!"
"She could very well be the claw that destroys the Clans!"
"If you two don't shut the fluff up I'll claw your able eyes out."
Three blue-eyed cats sat huddled under the leaning birch tree growing just outside of camp. All three were cats of borrowed hearts. In other words, they were the reincarnations of Dove's Wing, Jay's Wing, and Cinderpelt. And as such special kitties, they were embowed with a soft sense of seeing and feeling the strange auras that flowed from the fur of Foxleap's two kits.
"Listen, Jayfeather," the pale she-cat hissed. "Everywhere that little she-kit walks, there's dark blackness trailing behind from her ridiculous tail."
The old medicine cat spat at Dovewing. "Stop talking about my granddaughter like that."
"Come on," Cinderheart sighed through a mouthful of a McChicken. "This burger needs extra mayo."
Dovewing rolled her eyes at her gluttonous Clanmate. "Anyway, there is just an evil air about her."
Jayfeather snarled at the two she-cats. "There's a call for balance between the kits. Snailkit is in fact the good that counteracts the evil of Cometkit."
"But Cometkit is so handsome!" Cinderheart squealed. "Ah, he looks just like Handsomehandsome!"
"Yeah," Dovewing nodded. "Handsomehandsome saved us from Lionblaze and the traitors of the Clans. How could his son be evil when his daughter looks just like Tigerstar?"
"She doesn't look like Tigerstar," Jayfeather hissed. "And you know it. Her fur is too long and that tail is something of her own."
"#Jayjayisdilusional," Cinderheart typed away on her CatPhone5. "#Foxleapskitisevil."
"I'm just saying that Cometkit's ultraviolet rays cancels out the dark shadows of Snailkit," Dovewing explained to Jayfeather.
"Her shade absorbs his light. His light is a poison more fatal than the snake that murdered Honeyfern," Jayfeather growled.
Cinderheart set her phone down and looked at her burger, suddenly full. She swallowed the food in her throat with a hard gulp. "Okay, Jayfeather," she said, wiping her muzzle free of mayo and chicken crumbs. "I believe you. Then what about Cometkit? What can we do?"
"I don't know," the tom admitted. "As long as both cats are alive everything should stay the same."
Dovewing snickered. "That's what they said about the Three. As long as all three of them stay alive the Forest should be safe forever! Now look at us. We're just the Power of Two with no purpose. Lionblaze turned evil because he was too powerful and there was nothing for him to do. Handsomehandsome took away his purpose in life."
"Are you saying that my son is evil?" Jayfeather snarled.
"No," Dovewing flattened her ears and looked away.
"Whatever," he sighed heavily. "I need to get back to camp. Ferncloud is getting ready for her daily kitting."
He padded back to camp. With a long look at Dovewing, Cinderheart shook her head and followed the silver tabby. Dovewing shook her head and made her own way through the forest. Towards ShadowClan.
She felt her heart flutter at the though of meeting with Tigerheart. She could tell him all her problems and he would make her feel better.
Then she stopped in her tracks. I forgot. He's dead. ShadowClan is gone. There's only New ShadowClan across the border.
Back in camp...
"Okay, Ferncloud," Jayfeather sat by the fat, old queen. "Push."
"LOLOLOL," she cried as like a jillion kits slid out of her and landed on the nest.
"You're doing great," he said in a flat tone. "If you need to, bite down on the stick."
The gray dappled she-cat bit down on the stick. Jayfeather yawned. Then his fur fluffed up and his claws dug into the earth. He sensed it! He sensed the stick! The stick Ferncloud was using... It was his stick!
"Noooooo!" He wailed as the queen broke it with the snap of her jaws. "Why are you all so cruel?!"
He snatched the splintered branch and whisked it away to his den.
"I think that's where Cometkit gets his dramatic flair," Ferncloud laughed, looking over at her son Foxleap who was curled up with his two kits.
Foxleap grinned. "Like son like grandpaw."
Suddenly, two cats appeared in the entrance of the nursery. A wild Gaystripe appeared! A wild Birchstar appeared!
"Go, Pokéball!" Ferncloud, being the Pokémon Master and birthing expert she was, whipped out a standard red-and-white ball and chucked it at the cats.
It flew back and hit Ferncloud in the face. She paw-palmed herself. She had completely forgotten you can't throw a Pokéball when there's two targets together!
"Greetings," Birchstar mewed. "Ferncloud, Gaystripe and I would like to adopt one of your many, many kits."
"Awww, that's great!" Ferncloud smiled. She looked down at the swarm of kits squirming across the nursery floor. "Find one that you like. If you can't find the perfect one come back tomorrow and I'll have a new selection waiting for you."
The couple turned towards each other. "Well, Gaystripe? She-kit or tomkit?" Birchstar asked.
"I've always wanted a son!" He squealed. "A son that wouldn't leave the Clan to go fulfill some random, important, StarClan-sent prophecy, and a son that won't get buried alive in the middle of camp."
"Okay," Birchstar agreed. "A son it is. What pelt would we like to adopt?"
"How about a tawny tomkit with a broad, dark stripe from his head down his back and to his tailtip?" Gaystripe said.
"Ooooh, like Blossomfall's accidental allegiance description!" Birchstar nodded in understanding.
They picked their way through the kits until they found the perfect one they had talked about. Gaystripe thanked Ferncloud with overly gracious gestures. He picked up the tawny kit and raced back to Birchstar's den in the Highledge. Birchstar could barely keep up.
"What will we name him?" Gaystripe squealed.
"I don't know," Birchstar mewed. "Let's ask... our readers! Hear that weirdos? What should we name our adopted son?"
Of course, Gaystripe Real classy of you
Chapter Five of Tom 2
"Oh!" Birchstar was scrolling through the messages on his CatPhone5. "Look at these names that were suggested for our son, Gaystripe."
The old gray tomcat took the phone. "I like some of these names. Acornkit, Condorkit, and- oh! Calypsokit is a cool name!"
They both looked down at their newly adopted son. He was just too adorable with his tawny-brown fur and his twitchy little tail. Then suddenly the tabby leader thought of the perfect way to name their son.
"Let's combine all three!" He suggested.
Gaystripe gasped. "His name shall be... ANACONDAKIT."
Flaccid Vessel of Cacodyl
Chapter Six after many moons of hiatus!
Snailkit watched her brother inspect the new kit, Anacondakit, like he was a piece of prey. The little brown tom whined as the orange-and-purple cat probed at his shoulders and his rump.
"Leave the little guy alone!" She told him.
Cometkit glared at her. His white pupils were slits as thin as the claw moon. He began probing at Anacondakit once more.
"This is a fine specimen." He mumbled to himself. "Well-proportioned, healthy ears, a beating heart..."
"Most cats have that." Snailkit nudged him away from the newborn kit. "Foxleap said we can't play with him yet."
"I'm not playing." Cometkit insisted. "I am simply labeling this cat as a suitable incubator."
The little tabby she-kit shuddered. Her brother was so weird! She did not want to know what in StarClan he planned on doing with Anacondakit. The poor kit mewed feebly from his nest. Snailkit crawled in with him and appeased the kit's mewling.
She kind of liked the leader's son . He had a cute little nose and a dark stripe that ran down his back like his father Gaystripe. Once he grew up a little bit more she finally have a real denmate, one that doesn't try to pull your brain through your nose while you're asleep.
Cometkit huffed jealously. "Lard on me, Snail. You are, if I recall correctly, my sister and not his?" He spat at the sleeping kit.
"Pardon me, Cometkit. I'd rather have Anacondakit as my littermate! He's normal." She told him with the painful truth.
Foxleap approached the den. Cometkit greeted him joyously.
"Father!" He meowed. "Do you grant me permission to impregnant Birchstar's spawn with my flaccid vessel of cacodyl? The effects will be immediate micturation, followed by a flatus of googol proportions! I promise it is only an experiment to observe how his normal bromhidrosis will differ. My dearest sister is not allowing me to perform auscultation on the pygmy-like feline offspring."
Foxleap tilted his head in thought. "Hmmm... No, Cometkit. You may not pee inside of Anacondakit."
Cometkit stepped back in shock. Surely his mother would understand the importance of his research! "M-mother! This could benefit our entire race! This is for science!"
At that, Foxleap his paw down. "Don't talk back to me, little sir! Go straight to your nest."
Cometkit was speechless. He flopped down in his nest angrily. Snailkit couldn't help but giggle. Anacondakit was just happy that his prenium and related areas would not be injected or exposed to lethal poison.
A/N: Wow, I've gone for almost like half a year now! I've just been so busy with school and my family. I came back because I kept getting a little email from here every once in awhile.
Well, I totally forget what the plot to this story was, but then again this a trollfic. TROLLOLOL. Here's an update to appease the silent masses!